Mayhem & Mistletoe Read online

  “Um, well, it’s a long story.” He slid me a look, amusement lurking in the depths of his eyes.

  “I love long stories,” Sabrina enthused. “As long as they’re romantic. Is your story romantic?”

  “Is it?” I matched her tone, sarcasm on full display. “Eliot and I met when I was getting threatening notes on my front porch and needed a gun. I went to him to buy one.”

  “Really?” Sabrina reminded me of a wide-eyed ingenue on some teenybopper show. “That is ... really intense. What did you think when you first met her?”

  If Eliot was bothered by the breathy delivery of the question, he didn’t show it. “I found her intriguing,” he replied, offering me a wink. “She was the mouthiest person I’d ever met. I was so intrigued, in fact, I followed her to the Star Wars Symphony later that night.”

  “I don’t know what that is.” Sabrina flicked her eyes to me. “Is that some sort of underground thing?”

  “It’s exactly what it sounds like. There was a symphony performance, and they played Star Wars music.”

  Jake snorted. “I remember that night. The Wookies and Stormtroopers got into a big fight and we had to arrest about fifty people.”

  “You were there too?” Sabrina looked genuinely baffled. “I don’t understand why. I mean ... Star Wars is so lame.”

  My muscles tensed, as did Eliot’s grip on my knee.

  “Those are fighting words around here,” Jake offered with a laugh. “Avery lives her life according to Star Wars.”

  Speaking of that, I kind of wanted to engage the hyperdrive to escape from Sabrina’s clingy web of judgment. She was like the Emperor ... or Jar Jar Binks, only ten times more annoying.

  “That’s ... very weird.” Sabrina sipped her water. “You’re a very complicated figure, aren’t you?”

  What a stupid thing to say. I mean ... good grief. She talked like a reject from Gossip Girl, and not one of the good characters. She was clearly an Ivy or Lola rather than a Blair.

  Eliot chuckled. “Avery is a very complicated figure. She’s so complicated, in fact, I struggle to understand her sometimes.”

  “You and me both.” Jake bumped fists with Eliot, both of them smirking. For some reason, it soothed some of the frayed nerves jumping in my stomach. It was ridiculous, something bro-dudes the world over embraced, and yet it signified things would be fine between them. I needed that ... desperately.

  “I don’t believe I’m complicated at all,” I argued, leaning back in my seat. “I’m an open book.”

  Jake and Eliot made the same derisive sound in their throats.

  “I’m an open book,” I repeated. “What you see is what you get.”

  “I will agree with that,” Eliot supplied. “You’re a very open person, sometimes so open that you’re obnoxious.”

  Now he was on my list, too. “I’m never obnoxious.”

  Jake and Eliot made twin noises to reflect their doubt again. I was starting to feel ganged up on.

  “Your idle speed is obnoxious,” Jake countered. “I can see this conversation is heading into dangerous territory, though, so I’m changing the subject. Where did you go after you left my office?”

  There was no way I was answering that. “Well, I waited in the parking lot for thirty minutes and got stood up.”

  Sabrina turned sheepish and stared at the table. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know how that happened. I feel awful.”

  “You should,” I encouraged. “After that, I got some coffee and convened with nature.”

  “You convened with nature?” Jake’s eyebrow winged up. “Why doesn’t that sound likely?”

  “Because you’re a suspicious individual,” I replied. “It’s not very becoming.”

  “Ha, ha. What did you do after you convened with nature?”

  I cast a warning look toward Eliot. “I ... spent quality time with my boyfriend.”

  The glare Jake shot me was full of annoyance. “You said when you sat down that you had something. I want to know what that something is.”

  “Well, I want to know what you’re hiding.”

  “I’m not hiding anything. We don’t have anything. We’re still waiting for all the bodies to be identified.”

  “I don’t believe you.”

  “I’m sorry you’re having trust issues.” Jake scratched his chin and glowered at me, a mannerism I recognized from when we were teenagers and he’d had enough of my hormonal swings. “You should take that up with Eliot.”

  “Hey, let’s not go there,” Eliot cautioned. “Don’t make things weird.”

  Jake looked as if he was going to push things further and then raised his hands in defeat. “Fine. You’re right. I just want to know if you have something good. If you keep material information from me, that is an enforceable felony.”

  Oh, he wanted to play games, did he? “We don’t have information. We have a line on where we might get information.”

  “And where is that?”

  “I forget.” I tapped my lip and glanced at Eliot. “Do you remember?”

  Eliot had the grace to shoot an apologetic look at Jake. “Sorry, but I can’t remember either.”

  “Fine.” Jake’s expression was dour. “Just remember, two can play this game. If you guys want to hide information, then it’s on.”

  “I guess it is.” I snuggled a little closer to Eliot. “May the best reporter win.”

  “Or the best sheriff.”

  We fell into emotionally-charged silence, which Sabrina took it upon herself to interrupt.

  “Being a reporter is so cool,” she enthused. “I can’t wait until it’s me one day. But you said something about bad pay. How bad are we talking?”

  “You won’t be living in Washington Township,” I replied. “Try Eastpointe.”

  Her smile collapsed. “Maybe I should aim for a bigger market or something.”

  “Maybe.”

  10 Ten

  Sabrina was ready and amped after we’d finished lunch.

  “Where to first?”

  She was way too perky, which had me envisioning ways to un-perk her once we were out on the sidewalk. “I was thinking you could go back to the office,” I started.

  Sabrina immediately started shaking her head. “I’m supposed to stick with you.”

  That sounded like pure and unmitigated torture. “You know what? Just one second.” I lifted a finger and sidled away from her, ignoring the curious look Eliot pinned me with.

  “She’s going to be a problem,” Eliot noted as he followed me to the street corner, watching as I whipped out my phone. “You’re not going to hire a hitman, are you?”

  I pinned him with a withering look. “I’m putting Fish on this.”

  “I thought you said that he already put his foot down.”

  I shot him a dubious look. “That means very little to me. There’s a reason I always get my way. I’m just going to wear him down until he gives in.”

  Eliot smiled. “You do have a darling ability to make people cry,” he agreed. “Why do you think I took a page out of your playbook for the proposal? I knew exactly how to approach you.”

  I stilled, the phone close to my ear, and gave him a long once-over. “That’s both devious and insulting. You can’t use my moves against me.”

  “I’ll use whatever moves I have to.” He was blasé. “You can’t always have your way. This time I’m getting my way ... and you’re going to like it.”

  I was doubtful. “Maybe ....”

  “Place your call,” he barked, his eyes flashing with annoyance. “We’re not getting into this again. It’s flipping cold out.”

  “Whatever.”

  Fish picked up on the third ring. He sounded suspicious. “I don’t want to hear it,” he announced by way of greeting.

  “Have I ever mentioned what a gracious and giving boss you are?” I started, ignoring the expressions wafting over Eliot’s features. “You’re a true giver.”

  “I’m not giving you a way out,”
Fish argued. “You have to keep her with you. There will be multiple lawsuits if Marvin and Duncan can track her in the office.”

  His recognition of that fact bothered me on multiple levels. “Have you considered making them behave rather than punishing me?”

  “Please. Have you ever tried making them behave?”

  “You try to make me behave.” And that’s what grated more than anything else. “You at least pretend that you can control me once a month. Heck, my employment has been threatened multiple times because you think you can control me.”

  Worry flashed in the depths of Eliot’s eyes as he rested his hand on my shoulder. It was almost as if he was expecting me to explode, something I didn’t realize I was close to doing until he registered — and reacted — to my high-pitched tone.

  “Don’t give me that,” Fish complained. “It’s not my fault you’ve terrorized Ludington. It’s not my fault that you were a suspect in a murder. You did that to yourself.”

  “And one would say Marvin and Duncan have done a multitude of things to themselves as well ... and yet I’m stuck with the intern from hell.” I had one card to play, and I decided to throw it now. “It’s because I’m a woman, isn’t it?”

  Eliot’s lips twitched but he managed to keep a straight face. On the other end of the call, Fish swore viciously.

  “You’re trying to get a rise out of me. It has nothing to do with you being a woman.”

  “No? You told me that my co-workers couldn’t be trusted because they’re sexual harassers and now I’m stuck with an intern getting in my way,” I reminded him. “I have important people to interview, and I can’t do it with her hanging on my every word and saying stupid stuff.”

  “Avery ....”

  Before he could get up a full head of steam, I interrupted him. “I’m on what could be a huge story and she’s ruining my vibe. I tried to dump her at the sheriff’s department, but somehow I ended up with her again. The next neighborhood I dump her in might not be as safe.”

  There was silence on the other end of the call before Fish sighed. I knew I’d won. “You’d better get something good. I’ll call her back to the office and say we need her here. That doesn’t mean I won’t assign her to you again.”

  “Thank you for your cooperation.”

  Eliot’s smile was pronounced when I shoved the phone in my pocket. “And that right there is why I took a page out of your playbook. You always get your way.”

  “Yes, I’m awesome,” I agreed, rubbing my hands together against the cold.

  Eliot caught them between his and brought them to his mouth so he could blow on them. “Where are your mittens? You never go anywhere without those obnoxious sharks. Your hands are cold.”

  “They’re in the car.”

  “Well put them on.” He leaned close. “What do you plan to do between now and when we head out to that halfway house?”

  “There are two prominent women I want to question about Beau. They’re both single but bring various dates to charity events. Even if they didn’t date him, they likely knew women who did.”

  “Do you think they’re dangerous?”

  “They’re old.”

  He made a face. “That doesn’t mean anything if they’re determined.” He lightly flicked the spot between my eyebrows. “Just be careful. If they get nervous because they think you’re digging, they might act out.”

  “I think I can take a couple of old ladies.”

  “You can’t even take your intern.”

  That was the most insulting thing he’d ever said to me. “Keep it up,” I warned. “You’ll be sleeping alone tonight.”

  He didn’t look particularly bothered at the prospect. “I can hold out longer than you.”

  “No way.”

  “Would you care to place a wager on that?”

  Ugh. He knew I couldn’t resist a challenge. I also couldn’t shake the feeling that he might be right. What if he could hold out longer than I could? “We’ll talk about it later. For now, I have some questions to ask ... and an intern to return to the office.”

  “Be careful.” He gave me a quick kiss. “I have my doubts that someone angry over a love affair gone wrong killed five other Santas, but stranger things have happened.”

  “I’m always careful.”

  He shot me a dubious look. “Be ten times more careful than that.”

  SABRINA WAS A POUTING MESS WHEN I dropped her off at The Monitor. She insisted I go inside and talk Fish out of giving her another assignment. I offered a jaunty wave as I drove from the building and headed toward Lake St. Clair.

  The first woman who fit my criteria for being a possible mark of Beau’s was CeeCee Green, a rich divorcee who had gone through three or four husbands. She’d ended each marriage, however short, better off financially than she’d been before.

  I’d met her a few times, but none of our interactions had been of the ugly variety. In fact, at the auto show one year, she told me she appreciated my moxie when I explained to the Chevrolet representative that all cars looked alike to me. He’d been apoplectic, and she’d been amused. After that, she made a point of greeting me at the few events where we’d crossed paths.

  I’d never been to her home. I was struck by the opulence of the marble fountain in front of the mansion. If I had to guess, the fountain cost more than the home I shared with Eliot, which was already worth four times more than the house I’d had in Roseville before we moved in together.

  I pounded on the door. The woman who opened it was not CeeCee, though they did share an austere presence that would’ve been better suited for a horror movie set in an all-girls’ school in upstate New York than a lake community in Michigan.

  “May I help you?” She stared over the rim of her glasses. She took extra time to read my shirt, which featured a cat sitting on a skull and read “Ew, people.” For once — and only once — I realized why Fish had such a problem with my clothing choices. “I think you must be lost.”

  “I’m pretty sure I’m in the correct place,” I countered, forcing a smile. “My name is Avery Shaw. I’m a reporter with The Monitor. I was hoping to have a few moments of Ms. Green’s time.”

  The woman — she didn’t look like a maid as much as a female butler — raised an eyebrow. “And you think Ms. Green has time to simply see people off the street?”

  “It’s very important.” I refused to back down. “Just tell her I’m here. I’m certain she’ll want to see me.”

  “Are you?” The woman was dubious but raised a finger. “You are to remain out there. I’ll return shortly.”

  “I look forward to it. You seem like tons of fun.”

  She shut the door in my face. After what felt like a really long time — it was only five minutes — she returned and ushered me inside. “Ms. Green will see you in the parlor.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You are not to touch anything as we make our way through the house.”

  “Trust me, I have no interest in stealing anything. Unless ....” Something occurred to me and I brightened. “Rich people buy useless stuff. Swarovski has these Star Wars helmet things — Boba Fett and Darth Vader — and they’re made of crystals. CeeCee doesn’t have one of those, does she? I would totally steal those.”

  The woman didn’t respond, instead leading me briskly through the enormous house. The parlor she showed me into was bigger than the entire first floor of my house, though one glance told me I was better off. There was a cold austerity to the room, no warmth or cozy welcome. I immediately hated it, but I put on a good show when I realized CeeCee was watching me from a settee.

  “Your house is great,” I enthused. It wasn’t a lie. The house was beautiful. It simply wasn’t the sort of place I would want to live in. “Do you have a Starbucks here?”

  CeeCee sat in a pale pink suit, sipping tea from what looked to be expensive china. “Why would I have a Starbucks here?”

  I shrugged. “I read somewhere that Tommy Lee had his own Starbucks.
If I were really rich, that’s what I would do. I would build a Starbucks and hire someone to make me lattes all day.”

  “Yes, well, it’s something to consider.” CeeCee’s gaze reflected amusement as she sipped her tea again. This time I recognized her look of amusement was aimed at another woman, one I hadn’t immediately seen upon entering the room.

  While CeeCee was blond — the sort of blond you get from a bottle and never lose — this woman had red hair that looked as if it was held in place by gallons of Aqua Net.

  “I’m sorry,” I offered. “I didn’t realize you were entertaining guests.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about that.” CeeCee offered up a haphazard wave. “This is Janet Olsen. She’s one of my oldest friends.”

  I recognized the name. Janet Olsen was the daughter of one of the biggest Mercedes dealership owners in the state. She wasn’t quite as rich as CeeCee, but she clearly wasn’t hurting. “I think we’ve met a time or two,” I said. “I remember a charity event for Turning Point in particular.”

  Janet nodded in agreement. “I know who you are. You have quite the reputation in our little corner of the world.”

  “I like to make an impression.”

  “And you do in spades,” CeeCee said. “I thought about reaching out to you a few weeks ago, during that whole Tad Ludington affair. I worried you might go to prison for doing us all a favor and shooting that menace.”

  “I didn’t shoot Tad. I was innocent.”

  “You’re many things,” CeeCee countered. “Innocent is not one of them. That’s one of the reasons I like you.”

  “Yeah, well ....” I decided to redirect the conversation to my true purpose for being there. “So, I came for a specific reason. I need to know if you’re familiar with Beau Burton.”

  CeeCee’s eyebrows hopped and Janet sucked in a breath. The reactions were enough to tell me I was on the right track.

  “Why would you be asking about him?” Janet asked, shrill. “He was a monster.”

  “I’m well aware.” I shot her a placating smile. “That’s why I came here. My understanding is that Beau Burton made the rounds in your circle several years ago.”