Life's a Witch Read online

  Aunt Tillie snorted. “That boy couldn’t find his own penis with both hands and a magnifying glass. Don’t worry about him. He’s all talk.”

  I shuddered at the unintentional visual. “They all say you’ve warned them about ‘The Man’ and his plans for them,” I challenged.

  “Are you telling me Landon wouldn’t arrest them if he caught them doing something illegal?” Aunt Tillie retorted. “You can’t get angry with me for telling the truth.”

  “Aunt Tillie, you need to be very careful right now,” I warned. “Chloe said Nathaniel was dealing drugs. That’s bound to be what Chief Terry and Landon focus on once I tell them what she said.”

  “So … don’t tell them.”

  “A boy is dead,” I snapped. “I have to tell them. I wouldn’t lie about something like this. It’s too important. We both know that if Nathaniel was dealing it probably has something to do with his death.”

  “Not necessarily,” Aunt Tillie argued. “He was stabbed eight times. That’s overkill. A drug dealer would simply cap him in the head.”

  Apparently we all watch too much television. “That’s not the point,” I said, although I couldn’t argue with her logic. I’d been thinking the same thing. “You need to shut this down until it all blows over.”

  “Shut what down?”

  “This!” I gestured emphatically at the small field.

  Aunt Tillie blew a loud raspberry. “I need this for my glaucoma,” she said. “It’s medicinal.”

  “You don’t have glaucoma.”

  “Are you a doctor?” Aunt Tillie was getting shrill.

  “Aunt Tillie, we have so much going on right now,” I pleaded, trying a different tactic. “We have a dead boy who was probably out here looking for pot less than a week before his death. If I found that out in less than an hour, what do you think Landon and Chief Terry will discover?”

  “They’re not going to find my field,” Aunt Tillie replied. “I added special wards so no members of the fuzz can ever find it. If they try, they get diarrhea.”

  That was a horrible thought. “I … seriously?”

  Aunt Tillie nodded. “If you got diarrhea every time you thought about something, wouldn’t you stop thinking about it?”

  That was both diabolical and disgusting. It also wasn’t the point. “What if Aunt Willa finds it?”

  “A little relaxation might do that shrew some good,” Aunt Tillie said. “Is she back at the inn yet?”

  “I have no idea. I came straight here. She did go to Hypnotic, by the way. It didn’t go well.”

  “Nothing she does goes well,” Aunt Tillie countered. “She’s a horrible person.”

  “So why is she here?”

  “How am I supposed to know?”

  “You have to have an idea,” I pressed. “You know her better than anyone.”

  “That’s not saying much. I’ve never understood that woman.”

  I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose to ward off an oncoming headache. “You’re impossible. You know that, right?”

  “I’m getting T-shirts made up that announce it to the world.”

  “Please, if you could just … for a few days … let this place go, I would really appreciate it.” I was practically begging. I didn’t like it, but I also didn’t know what else to do.

  Aunt Tillie sighed. “Fine. I won’t work in my garden, and I’ll strengthen the wards. Are you happy?”

  “I’m happier,” I clarified. “Hopefully people will stay away given what’s going on with Nathaniel. I’m worried the opposite will be true, but I honestly don’t know what to do about that.”

  “You’re in a real tizzy today,” Aunt Tillie said. “I blame Willa.”

  I smirked, Thistle’s words from earlier in the afternoon echoing through my mind. Thistle was going to turn out like Aunt Tillie. I just knew it. “I blame her, too,” I said. “I’m worried about what kind of damage she’s going to do to Mom and her self-esteem before this is all said and done. Can’t you do something to get rid of Aunt Willa?”

  “Murder is illegal.”

  “I didn’t say kill her,” I spat. “Can’t you cast a spell to banish her?”

  “I could, but I’m not ready to do that yet,” Aunt Tillie admitted. “Your boyfriend was right the other day – although if you tell him I said that, I’ll curse you so you smell like bacon for a month.”

  “What was he right about?”

  “Willa has something specific in mind,” Aunt Tillie replied. “I shouldn’t care. It’s not as if she has power over me. I can’t help but wonder what it is, though.

  “She picked this time to come here because whatever she’s plotting is going to happen soon,” she continued. “She wants to feel us out. She wants to watch us interact. She wants to unnerve us. Then she’s going to lower the boom.”

  “If that’s true, then she has big plans, and I’m not sure that’s good for any of us,” I said. “Why not get rid of her now?”

  “Because I want to play with her first.”

  And there it was. Aunt Tillie was readying a game of her own. “What do you have planned?”

  “You were there when I did my planning,” Aunt Tillie said, averting her eyes.

  “Yes, but you’ve obviously come up with something else on your own,” I pressed. “What is it?”

  “You’re not privy to everything in my life, Bay,” Aunt Tillie shot back. “You’re my niece and I love you … some of the time. That doesn’t mean you’re my keeper. I’m my own keeper.”

  “Fine,” I said, giving in. “Just keep from making things worse for everyone in this family.”

  “I can’t promise that.”

  Crap. She really was up to something. Whatever it was held the potential to be both legendary and awful. “When this blows up in your face, don’t come crying to me for help,” I warned. “Make sure you keep Annie out of this pot field, too. Landon is going to freak if he finds out she was out here again.”

  “Landon needs to chill out,” Aunt Tillie said. “If anyone was ever in dire need of some relaxation medication … .”

  “Don’t you dare suggest that to him,” I ordered. “Also, you need to stop telling Annie that he’s something to fear. It’s not true, and it hurts Landon’s feelings when she says those things to him.”

  Aunt Tillie stilled. “I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings. Most of the time I only talk about that stuff because it’s funny. I forget how much she picks up. I’ll try to be better about that.”

  “That’s not all,” I added. “If she’s afraid of him, what happens if she’s in trouble and he’s the only one there to help?”

  “What trouble is she going to get in?”

  “The trouble that always finds this family,” I answered. “I know you mean well – and believe it or not, I know you like Landon, despite the things you say – but she shouldn’t be afraid of anyone in this house. Not if they can help her if things go bad one day.”

  “I … .”

  “Just think about it,” I said, cutting off Aunt Tillie before she could come up with an excuse. “What if there was another car accident and Landon found her? What would happen if she wouldn’t go to him?”

  “Fine,” Aunt Tillie said, blowing out a frustrated sigh. “You bring up a good point. I’ll handle the Landon situation.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I think he’s more upset that she has a crush on Marcus than anything else,” Aunt Tillie grumbled.

  “There is that, too,” I conceded. “That doesn’t change the fact that he’s a good man and doesn’t deserve to have Annie fear him.”

  “I’ll take care of it,” Aunt Tillie repeated. “If he tries to take my pot field, though, all bets are off.”

  “I would expect nothing less.”

  Thirteen

  “I figured you’d be hiding in here.”

  Landon let himself into the library a few hours later, lifting my legs so he could settle next to me on the couch.

  “
Did you find anything?” I asked.

  Landon ignored the question. “Where’s my kiss?”

  I scrunched up my face and leaned over to give him what he asked for, smirking as he made a loud smacking sound. “Better?”

  “Much better,” Landon said, resting his head against the back of the couch. “As for your question – not much. We found out that Nathaniel wasn’t well liked and he had a chip on his shoulder. None of that leads to any suspects. What about you?”

  I pursed my lips, causing Landon to narrow his eyes.

  “You found something, didn’t you?” Landon pressed. “Spill, little witch.” He tickled my ribs.

  “I wish you wouldn’t call me that,” I said, gasping as I tried to keep from laughing.

  “Why not? I think it’s cute and endearing.”

  “I think it often sounds like you want to put a B in front of it and call me something else,” I countered.

  Landon grinned. “Not generally, although I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t true occasionally,” he said. “Tell me what you found.”

  I blew out a weary sigh. “Well, I went to the Jamison house,” I said. “I didn’t plan to talk to the family. I was hoping to run into Nathaniel.”

  “I figured as much. Was he there?”

  “I have no idea,” I replied. “I didn’t really get a chance to look for him, because his sister caught me on the street.”

  “That can’t be good,” Landon said, his face sobering. “What did you tell her?”

  “I told her I was stopping by to talk to neighbors,” I answered. “I’m not sure she believed me, but she put on an act that she’s not upset and her brother was the world’s biggest butthead. Now, I don’t deny that her brother sounds like a butthead, but I think she’s still upset.”

  “Kids that age are hard to read,” Landon mused. “They want to be cool above all else, so they take on different personas so people can’t see they’re hurting. Did she tell you anything else?”

  “She told me a few other things,” I said, resigned that lying was out of the question. “She said her brother was selling drugs. She didn’t know where he got his product, but apparently he boasted about moving pot. I didn’t press her too much on whether he was selling anything else, because I didn’t think it was my place.

  “She also said he was a poor worker and he took her to a few parties at Hollow Creek before deciding she was too young to hang out there and rescinding the invitation,” I continued. “She seemed … lost.”

  Landon rubbed the back of his neck as he considered what I told him. “How easy is it to get pot around here?”

  I shrugged. “I haven’t tried since I was in high school, but I’ll bet if I was motivated I could find some.”

  “Yes, but you have a great-aunt growing her own little field right on your property,” Landon said, making a face. “You wouldn’t have to look too hard.”

  “I wasn’t including Aunt Tillie in that scenario,” I countered. “She’s not known as a sharer. If I was looking for product I probably wouldn’t even consider her.”

  “That doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t,” Landon said. “I don’t suppose you’ve talked about this with her, have you?”

  I shifted uncomfortably, drawing my eyes away from Landon and staring at the bookshelf across the room.

  “You know, Bay, if you keep stuff like this from me it’s going to cause problems,” Landon said, his voice even. “I know you want to tell me. I also know you’re loyal to Aunt Tillie. I don’t know what to tell you on that front. You have to make a choice, though.”

  “I already made the choice,” I said, forcing my eyes back to his. “I just … she’s my aunt.”

  “I know she is,” Landon said sympathetically. “Sweetie, I don’t want to put you in this position. Maybe … .”

  “I have more to tell you,” I said, cutting him off. “I just don’t want to get in a fight.”

  “Well, that’s not my first choice of evening activities either.”

  “Are you staying in town now that there’s a murder?”

  Landon jolted at my conversational shift. “Will it make you feel better if I say yes?”

  I nodded.

  “I decided to stay before this conversation,” Landon said. “I called my boss earlier and told him what was going on. He made fun of me for being whipped, and then officially tasked me here until the murder’s solved.”

  “Are you going to stay even if we fight?”

  “Bay, you’re killing me here,” Landon grumbled. “We’re not going to fight. Okay? Just tell me what you need to tell me, and we’ll go from there.”

  He was trying to soothe me, but I didn’t think he could keep his “no-fight” promise. “Chloe told me that Nathaniel tried to steal pot from Aunt Tillie’s field about a week and a half ago because he needed more product,” I said. “I questioned Aunt Tillie about it and she said someone tried to get past the wards … but couldn’t.

  “I made her promise to stay out of the field while this is going on and strengthen the wards,” I continued, hurrying through all of the information. It was like ripping off a Band-Aid. “She agreed. She also said she cursed law enforcement with diarrhea when they try to find her pot field, and promised to make sure Annie doesn’t have the wrong idea about you.”

  Whew. I felt better. I risked a glance at Landon and found his face rigid.

  “That’s a lot of information, Bay,” Landon said. “Thank you for having her talk to Annie. I don’t like that the kid is afraid of me. The diarrhea was an overshare. As for the pot field … well … I’m not surprised that kids try to find it. I probably would’ve done the same thing at their age.”

  I waited for him to explode. It didn’t happen. “That’s it?”

  “You know I try really hard to be a reasonable man,” Landon said, a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “I don’t actually like yelling at people. I especially don’t like yelling at you.”

  “I think sometimes you like to yell,” I countered.

  “Maybe sometimes,” Landon conceded. “I don’t like yelling at you, though. I do have a good time yelling at Aunt Tillie, and Thistle on occasion. I’d be lying if I said otherwise.”

  “What are you going to do about the pot field?”

  “Nothing,” Landon replied, nonplussed. “There’s nothing I can do about it right now. I can’t technically prove it’s there, and I really don’t want to write in a report that I know where a pot field might be, but my magical girlfriend and her family are hiding it. I’ve opted to … let that go.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’m not doing it for you,” Landon clarified. “I’m doing it for us. It’s tense enough around here without taking on the pot fight.”

  He wasn’t wrong. I opened my mouth but stilled when I saw a small figure hovering in the doorway. Annie, her eyes wide, stepped into view.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “Aunt Tillie said I should be nicer to Landon,” Annie said. “She said that I take what she says too … um … .” She searched for the right word.

  “Literally?” I suggested.

  Annie nodded. “I want Landon to know I’m not afraid of him even though he is ‘The Man,’” she said.

  “Thank you,” Landon said, shaking his head as he smirked. “You know I would never do anything purposely to hurt you, right?”

  “I know,” Annie said. “You just want to take all of the oregano away from Aunt Tillie. She told me to make sure you never find out I was out there helping her again today.” Annie realized what she said only when it was too late to haul it back. Instead, she clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oops!”

  Landon shifted his gaze to me. “Did you forget something in your retelling of the afternoon?”

  Well, there goes our fight-free weekend. Crap.

  “HOW was your day?” Mom asked, her face drawn as she sat across the table from me a half hour later.

  “It was delightful,” I repli
ed, fighting off my own bout of aggravation. “I went to Hollow Creek and saw a dead body. Then I talked to a grieving teenage girl. Then I … hung out with Aunt Tillie.”

  Landon made a growling noise in the back of his throat.

  “Who died?” Marnie asked.

  “Nathaniel Jamison.”

  “Patty Jamison’s boy?” Mom asked, her expression softening. “That’s awful. He was … young.”

  “He was definitely young,” I agreed.

  “How did he die?” one of the guests asked. Everyone was interested in the conversation, even though Nathaniel’s case was the last thing I wanted to talk about.

  “He was … .”

  “Stabbed eight times and tossed in the creek,” Aunt Tillie replied. “Don’t worry. He wasn’t bitten. He won’t come back as a zombie.”

  “Thank you, Aunt Tillie,” I seethed.

  “You’re welcome.”

  Landon rolled his neck until it cracked, leaning back in his chair as he stared Aunt Tillie down. After Annie’s bombshell about being in the “oregano” field with Aunt Tillie all afternoon, he was largely quiet. He wasn’t yelling … but he wasn’t really talking, either.

  “Did you see Patty?” Mom asked.

  I dragged my gaze from Landon and shook my head. “I stopped over there to … offer my condolences … but I ran into Chloe instead.”

  “How is she?”

  “She’s a teenager,” I replied. “She was stoic and a little chatty.”

  “We should put a care package together,” Marnie suggested.

  “Definitely,” Twila agreed, bobbing her head. “We’ll bake some pies and make a casserole so they have food. The last thing they need to be thinking about now is cooking something.”

  “We can drop it off tomorrow morning,” Mom murmured.

  “Well, I think this is just awful,” Aunt Willa announced.

  “I think that goes without saying,” Aunt Tillie said. “A young man was stabbed to death. It’s not exactly as though you’re wowing us with your insight.”

  Aunt Willa narrowed her eyes. “I was talking about the rampant crime in Hemlock Cove,” she snapped. “In my day, we didn’t have boys being stabbed and dropped in the creek.”