4 Waxing & Waning Read online

  Yeah, no one had ever said that about me before. Of course, Tally and Kristy had no idea where I was really spending my afternoons. “I don’t really feel like a party.”

  Ever since Professor Blake had dropped his search-and-destroy bomb, I’d been obsessed with finding out what he meant. He was being purposely evasive – which was driving me crazy. A party was the last thing on my mind.

  “You’ll feel better once you’ve had a few drinks,” Tally said. “Trust me. I know.”

  That didn’t surprise me. The woman could live in a keg and never complain. Well, that wasn’t entirely true, she’d need a really big keg so she could spread her legs and fit someone else in there with her. What? She’s a slut. And she’s annoying. No one likes an annoying slut. Well, men do. Wait, what was I just talking about?

  “It will be fun,” Paris said. When had she joined their side? “You’ve been far too focused lately.”

  “Fine,” I said, sighing. “Let’s go to a party. Just no fraternity parties.”

  “We’re not going to a fraternity,” Kelsey said. “In fact, you don’t even need your coat.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because we’re just going to the house next door,” Kristy said. “The guys over there are hosting a big blowout.”

  “Oh.” That actually didn’t sound too bad. If it was terrible, I could sneak away without anyone noticing. “Okay. Let’s go.”

  “THIS PARTY is raging.”

  I can’t decide if Kristy is purposely naïve or just really obtuse. I’m also not sure which one is worse. I glanced around the party dubiously. There were a lot of people here – and most of them were drunk. It wasn’t exactly a rager, though.

  “It’s great,” I said.

  “Do you need another beer?”

  I handed my empty cup over. “Sure.”

  Once she was gone, I could breathe a little easier. She was so much work – and not in the same way Tally was. Shiny objects could distract Tally. Kristy needed me to explain how the shiny objects worked before she could be distracted.

  “You don’t look like you’re having fun,” Paris said, moving in beside me.

  “It’s fine,” I said, waving off her concerns. “It’s actually not so bad.”

  “You’ve been really focused lately,” Paris said. “We’ve hardly seen you.”

  “I know. I’m just … it’s just so much.”

  “We could help you,” Paris said. “You’re going to need our help eventually. Why not let us help you now?”

  “Because there’s nothing you can help me with,” I said. “It’s a waiting game.”

  “Blake still won’t tell you what his new plan is, huh?”

  “Nope. I think my whole falling-apart act backfired on me.”

  “He thinks you’re fragile now?”

  “Or he knows it was all an act.”

  “That wouldn’t be good,” Paris said. “He’s already more suspicious than is acceptable.”

  “The whole thing isn’t good.”

  “You could quit,” she suggested. “You hate it there with them.”

  “I can’t quit,” I replied. “I need information.”

  “But he’s not sharing it with you,” Paris said. “You’re basically just working out these days.”

  “But don’t I look good?”

  Paris smiled. “You look amazing,” she said. “Still, I think I liked you better when your body was softer and you smiled.”

  Her comment was pointed, and it hit home. “I can’t fake being happy.”

  “I’m not asking you to,” Paris said.

  “Then what are you asking?”

  “I’m asking you to actually be happy.”

  “Do you think it’s that easy?”

  Paris shook her head. “Not for you, no.”

  “Maybe I should just drop out.” The moment the words left my mouth, I realized I was partially serious.

  Paris stilled. “Are you actually considering that?”

  “I can’t help thinking that, ever since I came here, my life has been turned upside down,” I said. “If I’d gone to a different school, one that wasn’t populated with … weirdoes … none of this would have ever happened.”

  Paris’ small smile was filled with sympathy. “Would you rather live in ignorance?”

  “College was supposed to be beer and boys, not monsters and … endless crap.”

  “I guess.”

  “I just want to be able to sleep a full night without seeing … stuff.”

  Paris tilted her head to the side. “What do you see?”

  “Tara dying. Laura dying. Zach trying to kill me. Tara trying to kill me. Um, basically, everyone on this campus trying to kill me.”

  Paris smiled. “It hasn’t all been bad.”

  “No,” I agreed. “The bad things certainly outweigh the good right now.”

  I jerked back when Kelsey barreled into me. Where had she come from?

  “Don’t look now,” she said. “But Aric is here.”

  My heart sank.

  “And there’s some really tall bitch with him,” Kelsey added.

  Those words made my heart harden. “He brought her here?”

  “What’s her name again?” Kelsey asked, teetering to the side. She was clearly drunk.

  I exchanged a look with Paris. “This would be a prime example of why I want to leave this place.”

  “If you didn’t have bad luck, you wouldn’t have any luck at all,” Paris said.

  When the hair on the back of my neck started to rise, I knew Aric had seen me. I don’t know how I knew, I just knew. I hadn’t seen or talked to him since the parking-lot incident, and now didn’t seem like the time to change that. “I’m going to leave.”

  “Oh, come on,” Paris said. “Don’t let him drive you out of here. We’re having fun. Well, kind of.”

  When I glanced up, I saw Aric heading in my direction. Great. This was exactly what I needed. Oh, wait, no it wasn’t.

  “Hey,” he greeted us, shifting nervously. The only thing good about this situation was that his new girlfriend wasn’t heading in our direction with him. I could only hope that I could escape before she caught sight of me, too.

  “Hey, Aric,” Paris said. “Long time no see.”

  “Yeah … I’ve been busy.”

  “Haven’t we all,” Paris replied. “Especially Zoe. She’s been so busy we’ve barely seen her. In fact, she’s been practically obsessed since she left the house one night last month to see you.”

  She was angry, I realized. My heart swelled with the knowledge. Covenant College had given me one thing: Loyal friends.

  “I’m sorry about that,” Aric said, his eyes focused on me. “I need to explain.”

  “Explain what?” Paris answered for me. “Explain how you betrayed her? How you broke her heart? How you moved on without looking back?”

  “That’s not what happened,” Aric growled. “I … .”

  “Wait a second,” Kelsey said, leaning against the wall as she tried to keep her balance. “Are you really thinking about dropping out?”

  Aric stiffened. “What?”

  “That took you like five minutes to process,” I said, grabbing the cup of beer out of Kelsey’s hand. “You’re done.” I sipped from the beer to calm myself.

  “Are you really thinking of leaving?” Aric’s face was filled with sadness.

  “There aren’t a lot of reasons to stay,” I said.

  “Zoe, please don’t do this.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because … you just don’t understand,” Aric said. “Don’t give up now. Not yet.”

  “It’s not giving up,” I said. “I’m just looking at my life and trying to find something … anything really … that gives me some modicum of happiness.”

  Aric’s face was pinched. “Just give it one more semester. That’s all I ask.”

  “Why should you get to ask anything?” Kelsey asked, poking a finger into Aric’s chest. Sinc
e she was so drunk, she seemed fascinated with the way her finger bounced off his well-muscled torso. “Wow. How often do you work out?”

  Aric ignored her. “Zoe, things will get better.”

  “How?”

  “I can’t tell you that,” Aric said, his face miserable. “Just … try to believe me.”

  “Yeah, because that worked out so well before,” Paris scoffed.

  “So, what’s going on here?” Caitlyn decided now was the time to join our small party.

  “Nothing,” I said. “We were just talking.”

  “I’m Caitlyn,” she said, introducing herself to Paris and Kelsey before turning to Aric. “Why is that girl poking you in the chest?”

  “She’s drunk,” I said. “She’ll stop in a minute.”

  “Yeah, she’s going to pass out eventually,” Paris agreed.

  “So, Zoe,” Caitlyn said. “I haven’t seen you around my boyfriend’s parking lot in a few weeks. That’s good.”

  I faked a smile. “Yeah, I’ve been too busy screwing the football team.”

  Aric scowled. “That’s not funny.”

  “I thought it was funny,” Kelsey announced, pulling her finger closer to her face so she could examine it. “What was I saying?”

  “You have a weird sense of humor,” Caitlyn said, shifting her attention to Aric. “What did you ever see in her?”

  “Yeah, Aric, what did you ever see in me?” I was pissed off. I couldn’t help it. Why was he with her? She was pretty, sure, but she was a total bitch. And not in a fun way like I was.

  “I liked your smile,” Aric said.

  Caitlyn rolled her eyes. “I think it must have been temporary insanity,” she said. “I’m just glad we found each other, and you’re so much happier now, aren’t you?”

  Aric shifted. “I’m not playing this game.”

  “What game?” Caitlyn asked, her tone dripping with fake innocence.

  Aric shook his head, looking away. “Just don’t.”

  “Yeah, don’t,” I said. “If you continue, I’m going to have to beat the crap out of you.”

  Caitlyn was a good four inches taller than me, and she didn’t look intimidated by the threat. “You could try.”

  I don’t know what I was thinking. Professor Blake had told me that displaying my newfound “skills” was a big no-no. I did it anyway. My fist was slamming into Caitlyn’s face before I even registered what was happening.

  She hit the floor. Hard.

  “Oh, cool,” Kelsey said as she watched with bland interest. “That was cool.”

  “Omigod!” Caitlyn was holding her nose. “You hit me!”

  For a brief moment, I swear Aric smiled. The expression was gone before I could be sure.

  “Aric! Do something,” Caitlyn ordered.

  Aric didn’t move.

  I glared at him. “Keep her away from me.”

  Aric held up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

  “We live next door,” I scoffed. “You had a pretty good idea I would be here.”

  “That’s not true,” Caitlyn screeched. “Tell her that’s not true.”

  Aric’s voice was flat. “It’s not true.”

  “What happened to you? You used to be able to think for yourself.” I pushed past him angrily. “You used to be someone I respected. You’re just … man … I really hate you.”

  Aric didn’t reply, but the hurt on his face was obvious.

  “I’m leaving,” I announced.

  “I’ll go with you,” Paris said.

  “No. Stay here. Have some fun. I just want to be alone.”

  “Zoe, you’re always alone now,” Paris said. “If you keep cutting yourself off … . You can’t keep doing this.”

  “I know. I don’t know what else to do, though.” I stormed out the door, fighting the urge to look over my shoulder so I could get once last look at Aric.

  I was so sick of this place.

  Nineteen

  I was furious. No, I was beyond furious. What’s beyond furious? Maybe I’m crazy. I feel like I could be crazy. Yeah, I’m totally crazy. Maybe I should go back and hit Caitlyn again? That felt good. Sure, it was just for a second, but it felt great for that tiny moment.

  I was so lost in thought, my instincts fled. I felt the blow on the back of my neck before I registered the figure moving in behind me.

  I pitched forward, my palms scraping against the hard pavement as my knees hit the immovable cement beneath me. Had Caitlyn decided to continue the fight? Well, bring it on. Wait, something told me that wasn’t right. She fought dirty, not physically.

  I swiveled, shifting my body instinctively as I did. When the figure tried to stomp on my prone body, I’d already moved, and the descending shoe hit empty space with a hollow “thunk.”

  I frowned when the figure swam into focus. It was a man. A vampire, actually. His skin was pale, his teeth extended. And his eyes? They were blood red with fury.

  “Who the hell are you?”

  “I know who you are,” he rasped.

  “Well, that gives you an advantage,” I said, not even trying to regain my footing. “Who are you?”

  “I’m going to avenge my people.”

  “You’re going to avenge bad dressers from the 1980s? Why?”

  The vampire frowned. “What?”

  “What?” I was trying to buy time.

  “These jeans are from the Gap,” the vampire said. “I’m not stuck in the eighties. I shop at the Gap. That’s not the eighties.”

  “That jacket looks like it’s made of silk,” I said. “That’s dated, dude.”

  “Silk is making a comeback,” he argued.

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  “Uh-uh.”

  “You’re trying to distract me,” the vampire said, narrowing his eyes. “You’re the Defiler. That’s what you do.”

  I shifted my head, considering. “The Defiler? Is that my name?”

  “Don’t act innocent.”

  “I’m not,” I said. “I’m just surprised. Can I pick a different name?”

  “What?”

  “I don’t like that one,” I said. “It makes me sound like a slut. And, let me tell you, I haven’t had any sex in six months. You can’t call me a slut.”

  The vampire was confused. “What?”

  “You can’t defile someone if you’re not having sex,” I said. “So, therefore, I can’t be the Defiler. Why don’t you call me the Agitator? That really fits my personality more.”

  “I didn’t name you.”

  “I hope not,” I said. “If you picked that name and that outfit in the same month, there really would be no hope for you.”

  I jolted when another figure appeared in my line of vision. I recognized Rafael’s frame before I caught sight of his features. His hands were on the new vampire, tossing him to the side before I could order him to stop. I had a few questions.

  “It’s you,” the vampire said, landing on his feet on the adjacent lawn. “I know who you are.”

  “I know who you are, too,” Rafael said, baring his fangs. “Sheldon.”

  I laughed unexpectedly. “Sheldon? Like Sheldon Cooper? Omigod, that’s so funny. And I thought the Defiler was a horrible name.”

  “It’s a family name,” he argued. “My mother named me after her brother.”

  “Your mother is a sadist,” I said, climbing to my feet. “Hey, I have a few questions. Don’t leave.”

  Sheldon looked Rafael up and down. “I’m not answering any of your questions.”

  “Don’t make me hurt you,” Rafael warned.

  “Who named me the Defiler?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” Sheldon said. “I just heard someone calling you that on campus the other day.”

  That was disappointing. “Why are you trying to kill me?” I tried again.

  “You are the enemy of my people.”

  “And, when you say ‘your people,’ do you m
ean vampires or bad dressers?”

  Sheldon scowled. “I don’t like you.”

  “Right back at you.” Rafael kept his body between me and Sheldon, but he let me do the talking. “Hey, can you just tell me why you’re specifically targeting me now?”

  “You’re with them,” Sheldon spat.

  “Who?”

  “You know who.”

  “No, you’re going to have to be more specific.”

  “The murderers of our kind,” Sheldon said.

  “Oh, the Academy?”

  Sheldon rolled his eyes.

  “Okay, you can go.” He wasn’t going to give me any more information, there was no sense in detaining him.

  Surprise washed over Sheldon’s face. “What?”

  “Yeah, what?” Rafael echoed.

  “He has a right to be pissed,” I said. “He can go.”

  “Zoe,” Rafael warned.

  I fixed my attention on Sheldon. “Go. Don’t come back.”

  Sheldon scowled. “I really hate you.”

  He vanished quickly, the spot he’d been standing suddenly empty. “Well, that was jarring,” I said, glancing up at the neighbors’ house to find Aric standing on the front porch watching.

  Rafael had shifted his attention to him, too. “Wolf.”

  “Dead guy,” Aric said. “Everything under control here?”

  “It’s been handled,” Rafael said.

  Aric nodded, shifting his gaze to me. “Are you okay?”

  “Oh, I’m great,” I said. “My life is a basket of puppies.”

  Aric smiled, although it was grim. “Just remember what I said. Give it another semester.”

  “What does that mean?” Rafael asked.

  “Nothing,” I said. “Don’t worry about it. I need some sleep.”

  Rafael sighed. “Fine.”

  “You’re not going to argue?”

  “Will it do me any good?”

  “No.”

  “Then why would I argue?”

  His pragmatism is one of the things I hate most about him.

  SOMETHING woke me an hour later, causing me to bolt upright in my bed. Someone was in my bedroom. I couldn’t see him in his entirety, but I could make out a figure leaning against the wall.

  “Rafael?”

  “You should be sleeping.”

  “Are you watching me sleep?”