Life's a Witch Read online

  “Like burnt eggs on toast,” I replied.

  “Nice analogy,” Landon said. “It’s pretty spot-on, too.”

  Chief Terry shook his head. “Still, you had a hangover and you figured this out. I’m impressed.”

  “It was the kids last night that tipped me off,” I admitted. “I didn’t realize it until … well, until you pointed out Chloe was high. That was a nice catch, by the way. I didn’t notice, and I’m used to hanging around the lone member of Hemlock Cove’s glaucoma club.”

  “What did they do last night that tipped you off?” Landon asked.

  “Remember when Charlie started screaming about cops and how everyone should run for their lives?”

  Landon nodded while Chief Terry chuckled.

  “I swear that kid will be a comedian one day,” Chief Terry muttered.

  “A few of the kids started running into the water,” I said. “At first I thought it was panic. The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that they would’ve run into the woods if they didn’t know there was a safe way across the creek.”

  “That’s pretty smart thinking,” Landon said, winking. “You’re right. I thought the kids were just crocked when they tried to run across the creek. I’ll bet if we spend some time moving along the creek we’ll find a trail that allows people to walk across without going under.”

  “Also, I don’t care how sentimental you claim to be,” I added. “There are plenty of wooded areas around Hemlock Cove where those kids could’ve partied last night that weren’t connected to a dead body. There had to be another reason for them to come out here.”

  “The pot field,” Chief Terry surmised. “Well, I still feel stupid. We should’ve known something like this was out here.”

  “Unless you were specifically looking for it, how would you find it?” Landon challenged. “What we need to do is find out who planted it and how long it’s been here.”

  “Bay brought up a good point,” Chief Terry said. “For all we know this isn’t new. It could be an ongoing operation. The winters are brutal, so the field would be seasonal. That doesn’t mean they haven’t been planting it for years, starting a new crop every spring.”

  “That is a good point, sweetie,” Landon said, tweaking my nose.

  “You two make me sick,” Chief Terry complained.

  “Get over it,” Landon shot back. “Well, I think our first order of business has to be finding out exactly who knew about the pot field. I suggest we start with Charlie. He'll roll over on everyone else.”

  “What if he doesn’t know?” I asked.

  “How could he possibly not know? He hangs around with those kids all the time.”

  “Yes, but he’s a wannabe,” I pointed out. “He wants to be part of the group, but I have a feeling they let him hang around only because he acts as their errand boy and does whatever they want him to do. I don’t think they’re confiding big secrets in him.”

  “Bay might have another point,” Chief Terry said.

  “You’re on fire today,” Landon said, winking.

  “Knock it off! Now you’re just doing it to irritate me!” Chief Terry scowled in Landon’s direction.

  “Stop making yourself such an easy mark,” Landon countered. “Criminy! It’s not as if we’re doing something illegal.”

  “It’s still gross.”

  “Whatever,” Landon said, turning to me. “We do need to have a serious discussion.”

  Uh-oh. Did he already change his mind about sharing a house with me some day? That would be just my luck. “What?” Wow. My voice sounded squeaky enough that Landon sent me an odd look.

  “We need to talk about Aunt Tillie,” Landon said, scanning the area to make sure no one was close enough to hear us. “The county people are making noise about sweeping various areas for pot fields. They think if there’s one, there might be more.”

  I swallowed hard. “Oh.”

  “What did you think I was going to say?” Landon asked.

  “I … how do you know that’s not what I was thinking?”

  “Because I know you,” Landon replied. “You got all high-pitched and weird there for a second.”

  There was no way I could tell him what I was really thinking. “I thought maybe you were going to be schmaltzy again,” I lied.

  “We’ll save that for later,” Landon said, grinning when Chief Terry started fidgeting. “I’ll schmaltz your cute little behind right off.”

  “All right, that did it,” Chief Terry warned. “I’m going to push you in that creek … and it’s going to be on purpose when I try to kill you.”

  “Promises, promises,” Landon teased, although his face sobered when he turned back to me. “How much do we need to worry about the county boys finding Aunt Tillie’s hobby?”

  “Oh, man,” Chief Terry groused. “This is worse than the flirting.”

  “It’s a real concern,” Landon pointed out. “Do you want the Winchesters going down over this?”

  “Of course not,” Chief Terry shot back. “They can’t find that field. We both know she did … something … to make sure we can’t find it. If we can’t find it and we know it’s there, they’re certainly not going to find it when they start blindly poking around.”

  “She also fixed it so anyone in law enforcement gets diarrhea when they even think about finding it,” I added.

  Chief Terry made a face. “Did you have to tell me that? Now I’m not going to be able to stop myself from thinking about it.”

  “Make sure you have a subscription to a good magazine you can leave near the toilet,” Landon suggested.

  Chief Terry knit his eyebrows together. “You’re a sick, sick man.”

  “So I’ve been told,” Landon deadpanned. “Bay, you need to have a talk with Aunt Tillie tonight. I know you don’t want to – and there’s probably going to be some horrible curse coming your way – but she needs to stay out of that area in case anyone is watching the property. Do you understand?”

  I nodded. “She already said she wouldn’t work in the field. I’m not sure I believe her, though. She’ll have to agree after this,” I said. “Even she can’t find fault with staying away. It’s the smart thing to do.”

  “She’s never cared about what’s smart and what’s completely idiotic before,” Chief Terry said. “Do I have to remind you about the time she took three small children to break into a house to save Christmas?”

  I pursed my lips. Of course he wouldn’t forget that. “I’ll talk to her,” I said. “I’m going to try to keep my mother out of it, though. She has enough on her plate with Aunt Willa.”

  “That’s another concern,” Landon said. “Willa knows about the pot field. She doesn’t know where it is – and maybe that’s what they were looking for last night – but she knows it exists. She could be petty and call in a tip when she gets wind of this.”

  I hadn’t thought of that. “I’ll definitely talk to Aunt Tillie.”

  “No one is to go in that field until we’re sure the county people are gone,” Landon said. “It’s important, Bay.”

  “I know. I’ll … figure something out.”

  Landon ran his hand down the back of my head. “Thank you.”

  “Well, look over there,” Chief Terry said, inclining his chin to the spot over Landon’s shoulder. We all stared in the direction he indicated, three teenage faces popping into view from the other side of the field.

  “What do you think?” Landon asked. “That’s Charlie and Dakota, right? Who is the third kid?”

  “That’s Stephen Brooks,” Chief Terry answered. “He’s Andrew Brooks’ kid. He’s the mailman. It doesn’t surprise me that they’re running together.”

  “Charlie is with them,” Landon pointed out. “He has to know what’s going on.”

  “They’re going to lie and say that they saw all the people and came to check it out,” I offered. “You know that, right?”

  “I do,” Chief Terry said. “I think letting them stew abo
ut this overnight is our best move. We’ll figure out a plan of action for questioning them tomorrow. For now, I think what’s going to happen next will be enough to terrify them.”

  I was confused. “What’s going to happen next?”

  Landon pointed toward the field, where one of the county drug enforcers was taking a flamethrower to the plants. “It’s standard operating procedure,” he explained. “They take samples for the lab and burn the rest.”

  “The whole town is going to get high,” I protested.

  Landon snorted. “They won’t. It’s wet. They’re going to watch thousands of dollars in profit go up in smoke in the next few minutes. The county won’t leave until the field is razed.”

  “You know that’s going to make their clientele – and maybe whoever else they’re working with – very unhappy, right?” Chief Terry prodded. “That could make for some desperate kids. We need to watch them.”

  “We’re already watching them,” Landon said, raising his hand to wave at the boys. “They know we suspect them. Now they’re going to come up with a lie.”

  “What will you do?” I asked.

  “Rip it apart,” Landon replied, grabbing my hand as his eyes twinkled. “Come on. I want to get out of here before I get the munchies. I’m already starving, and you have a chore to do before we eat.”

  “Oh, yeah, right,” I muttered. “I get to lay down the law with Aunt Tillie.”

  “If she’s going to curse you, please ask for the bacon one,” Landon begged. “Tell her I’ll even pay if that’s enough to sway her.”

  “You make me sick,” I grumbled.

  “That’s what I’ve been telling you,” Chief Terry said. “Why don’t you ever listen to me?”

  Twenty-Two

  “This is the worst idea we’ve had since … well … we were old enough to have ideas,” Clove announced, peeking around the kitchen door and eyeing Aunt Tillie as she watched Jeopardy on the couch in the family living quarters a few hours later. “She’s going to curse us with something truly awful.”

  “We don’t have a choice,” I argued. “You know what will happen if someone discovers that field. Aunt Tillie wouldn’t be the one on the hot seat. Our mothers would be in trouble.”

  “Don’t kid yourself,” Thistle said, flattening her slim body against the wall to get a better look at Aunt Tillie. “We’d go down, too, and then Aunt Tillie would be left to rule the roost with her iron fist of death.”

  “You’re in a mood,” Clove muttered.

  “I have a terrible headache,” Thistle said.

  “That’s what happens when you drink yourself to the point where you puke at a teenage kegger,” I pointed out.

  “I’m sad I missed it,” Clove said wistfully. “I miss all the fun stuff.”

  Thistle scowled. “You wouldn’t have missed it if you didn’t spend every night at Sam’s place,” she said. “What’s going on? Are you going to move in with him?”

  Clove shifted, surprised by the question. “Why would you ask that?”

  “Because you don’t really live with us anymore,” I answered. “We’ve noticed your constant absences.”

  “And we’ve really enjoyed them,” Thistle snarked.

  “It’s okay, Clove,” I said, taking sympathy on my cousin and her deer-caught-in-headlights expression. “If you want to move in with Sam, we understand.”

  “I don’t,” Thistle grumbled.

  “You’ll always have a place with us,” I added, ignoring Thistle. “Just because you move in with Sam doesn’t mean we’re not a family. We’ll still … do stuff.”

  “You really wouldn’t mind?” Clove looked relieved. “I’ve been considering it. Sam wants me to. It’s just … I was worried about leaving you guys. You know you’re going to fight nonstop if I’m not there to cast the deciding vote, right?”

  “We’re adults,” I said, patting her arm. “We’ll … figure it out.”

  “We will,” Thistle agreed. “We’re going to figure out that I’m always right.”

  “Don’t make me force-feed you dirt,” I threatened.

  “Later,” Thistle hissed. “We have to deal with … that … first.”

  “Any suggestions?” Clove asked, inhaling deeply and pulling together her limited courage. “How should we do this?”

  “I have only one idea,” I admitted, shoving Clove through the door.

  “That was mean,” Thistle said. “Good job.”

  “Hey, if she’s going to leave us, she deserves this,” I said, following Clove into the room. “Good evening, Aunt Tillie.”

  “Whatever it is, I didn’t do it,” Aunt Tillie said, her eyes trained on the television. “If you want something, the answer is no.”

  “We haven’t even told you why we’re here,” Clove protested.

  “You’re here to annoy me.”

  “You don’t know that,” Thistle challenged. “We could be here to tell you how wonderful and great you are.”

  “Do I look like I was born yesterday?” Aunt Tillie refused to move her eyes from the television. She was sending us a message, and that message was clear: I’m not afraid of you.

  “We need to have a talk,” I said, employing a calm voice as I moved closer. “Something happened today.”

  “I heard,” Aunt Tillie replied, nonplussed. “You found a huge pot field out at Hollow Creek and the fuzz burned it to the ground. That’s a total waste, if you ask me.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “How did you hear?”

  “All of the guests were talking about it,” Aunt Tillie answered. “I guess it was the talk of the town. I hear there was a run on corndogs and elephant ears at the festival this afternoon.”

  I scowled. “Landon said it was impossible for everyone to get high.”

  “Yes, and I’m sure Landon knows everything,” Aunt Tillie shot back. “What do you three want?”

  “I think you already know what we want,” Thistle surmised. “You need to stay out of your field for the foreseeable future. The county guys are looking to conduct searches. No one can see where you go.”

  “Um … no.”

  I wasn’t expecting her to capitulate without a fight. Her blasé attitude was irksome, though. “It’s not up for debate,” I argued. “I promised Landon you would stay away from that field. You’re going to do it.”

  “Um … no.”

  “Aunt Tillie, you have to understand where we’re coming from,” Clove said, trying a different tactic. “If your field is found, our mothers will be in big trouble. Can’t you please do this for them?”

  “Um … no.”

  She was starting to sound like a broken record. “Why do you have to be such a pain in the ass?”

  “I think it’s in the genes,” Aunt Tillie replied, hopping to her feet. “What is Mount Rushmore!”

  “What?” I knit my eyebrows together, listening as Alex Trebek gave the correct response as “What is the Andes.” I had no idea what the original clue was. “You were wrong. Will you pay attention to us now?”

  Aunt Tillie flipped the television off and moved past us, heading in the direction of the kitchen. “Is dinner ready?”

  Thistle and I exchanged an incredulous look. She was unbelievable. We followed her into the kitchen, and I hurried around the opposite side of the counter to cut her off. “We’re not through yet,” I said, blocking the door.

  “I don’t have to listen to you three. I can do what I want.” Aunt Tillie tried to push me away from the door, but I held my ground.

  “This is for our family,” I said, gritting my teeth. “You have to do what’s right for our family.”

  “I don’t have to do anything but eat,” Aunt Tillie countered. “Get out of the way.”

  “Not until you agree,” I said.

  “Never!” Aunt Tillie threw all of her weight against me, taking me by surprise. My footing slipped and the door flew open as I hit the ground between the two rooms. Thankfully Aunt Tillie lost her balance in the scuffle, too.
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  Mom’s eyes were wide when they landed on me. “What … ?”

  “Don’t worry about this,” I said, forcing a smile for the guests as I rolled to my knees. “We’re having a small … discussion … about something in the kitchen. We’ll be right out.”

  I grabbed Aunt Tillie’s wrists and wrestled her back toward the kitchen.

  “Help me,” I ordered Clove and Thistle, both of them hurrying to my side and grabbing writhing appendages as Aunt Tillie huffed.

  “I’m going to curse you all to within an inch of your lives,” Aunt Tillie warned. “Mark my words!”

  “Do you need help?” Landon asked dryly.

  I shook my head. “We’re good.”

  It took all three of us, but we finally managed to corral Aunt Tillie in the kitchen. Once the door was safely shut, I rested all of my weight on top of her, pinning her to the ceramic tile. “Agree to our demands.”

  “Um … no!”

  Thistle hopped on top of me, adding her weight to the melee. “Do it, old lady,” she snapped. “You owe us after the fairy tale book. This is for our mothers. Don’t make us hurt you.”

  “I’m going to kill you all!” Despite our weight, Aunt Tillie still flailed about. “Clove, if you help me I’ll reward you.”

  Clove looked caught.

  “Clove, if you help her I’ll destroy you,” Thistle threatened.

  Clove sighed, resigned. “I’m sorry, Aunt Tillie. We have to do what’s best for the family.” She hopped on Thistle’s back, helping us make a four-person sandwich. The added weight was a struggle for me to deal with. It had to be almost unbearable for Aunt Tillie.

  “Agree to our demands,” I instructed.

  “Do it,” Thistle pressed.

  “Fine,” said Aunt Tillie, her face red with exertion.

  “Promise us,” I said, knowing she wouldn’t go back on it if she said the words.

  “I promise,” Aunt Tillie seethed.

  We reluctantly got off her, everyone pulling themselves together before we joined the rest of the guests.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “Oh, no. Thank you,” Aunt Tillie shot back. “I may have to stay out of that field because I’m not a liar, but that just gives me plenty of time to think of your punishment.”