4 Waxing & Waning Read online

  Aric nodded, shifting his head to look around the UC. “No. I guess you can’t.”

  Four

  The Friday night before classes start on a college campus is officially “Party Night.” In mid-Michigan, the nights are still warm – the days even warmer – and you can practically feel festivity in the air. Even though my heart wasn’t in it, I reluctantly agreed to go out to a party with my roommates. Having a good time was out of the question. I was almost sure of it.

  “If you keep that look on your face, you’re going to scare everyone in a ten-block radius away,” Kelsey said.

  We were standing on the front porch of a house on fraternity row. The Alpha Chi house – Aric’s fraternity house – was two doors down. I was uncomfortable being in proximity to the house, and my gaze was constantly traveling to the sidewalk in case I found a familiar figure and needed to flee.

  So far, I’d been lucky.

  “I don’t have a look on my face,” I argued, taking a sip from the red plastic cup in my hand and grimacing. Keg beer – especially the cheap stuff served at college parties – leaves a whole lot to be desired.

  “You have a look,” Kelsey said.

  “Where did Paris go?”

  Kelsey pointed to a spot on the front lawn where Paris and her boyfriend, Mark, were arguing.

  “Ah.”

  “They’re not going to make it,” Kelsey said. “You know that, right?”

  “Yeah. I figured that out on my own.”

  “Do you think she’ll break up with him tonight?”

  I shrugged. “She’ll do it soon.”

  We both jumped when someone started playing the piano on the front porch. And, when I say playing, I mean slamming their fingers down in a rhythm that was nothing akin to actual music.

  “Who puts a piano on the front porch of a house?” Kelsey complained.

  “Drunk people?”

  “And who plays it?”

  “A drunk person?”

  Kelsey frowned, shifting her head so she could eye the piano player over her shoulder. “Hey! You suck.”

  The girl sitting on the bench a few feet away from us ignored the insult.

  “Hey!” Kelsey tried again. “You really suck.”

  The girl slammed the lid down over the piano keys, casting a dark look in our direction. “Well, I guess I suck.”

  “Admitting it is the first step to recovery,” Kelsey said.

  The sound of laughter drew my attention to the opposite end of the porch, where a striking man with black hair was watching our antics.

  “You find this funny?” I asked.

  The man took a step forward. His hair was long on top and shorter underneath, and his skin was still glowing from his summer tan. He reminded me of a soap-opera actor for some reason. “I do.”

  “Well, she sucks,” Kelsey said, scowling. “She must be tone deaf or something.”

  “I’ll have you know, I took four years of piano when I was in middle school,” the girl said.

  “Your parents should seriously ask about getting their money back,” Kelsey shot back.

  The girl huffed, pushing her way past us as she stormed into the house. When she was gone, only the three of us remained on the porch.

  “I’m Matt.”

  “I’m Zoe,” I said. “This is Kelsey.”

  “Well, other than hating great music, how are you finding your evening?”

  I narrowed my eyes. That was a weird way to phrase a question – especially that question. “Warm.”

  “It’s still summer,” Matt agreed. “It’s nice. We should enjoy it before it gets cold.”

  Kelsey smiled. “I agree. Tell her to stop with the ugly looks on her face.”

  “I don’t think her face could ever be ugly,” Matt said, clearly trying to be charming.

  His attempt was in vain. “I know what you’re trying to do,” I said. “I’m not really interested.”

  “And what am I trying to do?”

  “Well, I would assume it is some variation on separating me from my panties,” I said bluntly.

  Matt shrugged. “I would be lying if I said that idea didn’t … interest me.”

  “Well, I’m telling you the truth when I tell you that it isn’t going to happen,” I replied.

  “And why is that? Do you have a boyfriend?”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “That doesn’t mean I’m interested in you.”

  “You could be.”

  “No, she couldn’t.”

  I froze when I heard the voice. Where had he come from? I shifted, my gaze falling on Rafael. He was standing at the bottom of the porch stairs, and he didn’t look happy.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “Looking for you.”

  “How did you even find me?”

  Rafael ignored the question, his eyes never leaving Matt’s face. “She’s not an option for you.”

  Matt appeared relaxed as he leaned against the railing of the porch, but something had shifted in his demeanor. “I didn’t realize she was claimed.”

  Claimed?

  “Well, she is,” Rafael said. “If you come near her again, I’ll snap your neck.”

  I glanced around, hoping against hope that someone hadn’t heard his threat. “What are you doing?” I hissed.

  Rafael never moved his eyes from Matt. “He’s not what you think he is.”

  Oh, great, another monster. “And what is he?”

  “He’s like me.”

  I frowned, looking Matt up and down. What is it with tan vampires? That should be outlawed. “Ugh.”

  “Ugh?” Matt mocked me. “You seem to like him.”

  “He’s not you,” I said.

  “No,” Matt agreed. “He thinks he’s above us.”

  “Maybe he is,” I said, moving down the stairs. I’d had enough of partying for one night – or maybe forever. Partying never went well for me. You’d think I would learn.

  I tugged on Rafael’s arm, trying to drag him down the sidewalk. “Let’s just go.”

  He ignored me.

  I shook my head, utter contempt for every man on the campus running through my mind. That’s when things got worse.

  “You’re breaking up with me?” Mark was backing away from Paris.

  I shifted my attention to them. “Oh, well, great. It wouldn’t be a true party night at Covenant College without a heart getting broken.”

  “I’m sorry,” Paris said. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

  “Oh, that’s what everyone says,” Mark replied, his tone bitter. “You really mean that it’s me, though.”

  “No.”

  “I can’t … I don’t understand.”

  “I just need some space,” Paris said. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Well, it’s too late for that.”

  I felt Kelsey’s hand on my arm. “I guess you were right when you said it would be soon.”

  “I’m always right,” I said, weariness washing over me.

  “I guess so.”

  “Oh, look, it’s Paris.”

  The voice was like nails on a chalkboard. I glanced up, finding Brittany standing on the sidewalk next to Will. Could my night get any worse?

  “And Zoe,” Brittany said, catching sight of me. “It’s … well, it’s good to see you.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Brittany.”

  “How was your summer?”

  “It sucked,” I replied honestly.

  “Mine was great,” Brittany said. “I had an internship at a public relations firm.”

  I shot her a thumbs-up and my best fake smile. “Awesome.”

  “Hey, Zoe,” Will offered lamely.

  “Will,” I said, my back molars grinding against each other. “How are you?”

  “I’m okay.”

  “That’s good.”

  We’d been apart for almost two years now, but every time I saw Will, memories of a happier time surfaced. I had to keep reminding myself that he was
not the boy in the canoe anymore. Instead, he was on the low rung of the werewolf ladder – a follower, not a leader.

  “Were you at home this summer?” Will asked.

  “I was.”

  “At the resort again?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, at least it’s pretty there.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed, at a loss of what else to say.

  “It’s a hellhole up there,” Rafael corrected, finally turning his attention away from Matt. “There’s absolutely nothing to do.”

  “You were up there, too?” Will asked, looking Rafael up and down.

  “I was up there all summer,” Rafael said, fixing Will with a hard stare. “I can’t believe people actually choose to live there.”

  You know when I said things couldn’t get worse? I was wrong. I was so wrong.

  “You were up there?”

  I heard Aric’s voice before I saw him. He was standing on the sidewalk, about five feet behind Brittany and Will, his face tight and full of anguish.

  Rafael regarded him calmly. “Someone had to look out for her.”

  “Why did you need to be looked out for?” Brittany asked. “More mayhem, I suppose.”

  I ignored her. I felt like I was drowning, the betrayed look on Aric’s face warring with the anger I still felt for what he’d done. Both were sapping oxygen from my lungs.

  “Can we focus on me?” Mark drew my attention away from Aric. “I’m the one who is getting dumped here.”

  “I’m not dumping you,” Paris said. “I just think a little space will do us both good.”

  I’d forgotten Paris was mid-breakup a few feet away.

  “Oh, you’re breaking up,” Brittany said. “That’s awful. If you want me to set you up with someone … more appropriate … just let me know.”

  Now I was confused. “Are you talking to him or her?”

  “Her, of course,” Brittany said. “I like Mark, but he’s such a … slacker.”

  “Hey!” Mark was appalled.

  “Let’s go back to you spending the summer up north with my girlfriend,” Aric said, pointing his question in Rafael’s direction. “Let’s talk about that.”

  “She’s not your girlfriend anymore,” Rafael said. “I always thought she made a bad choice where you’re concerned.”

  “Well, that’s just great,” Aric said.

  “Stop goading him,” I ordered Rafael. “You’re making him feel worse.”

  “Do you really care about that? After what he did to you?”

  “What he did is between him and me,” I said. “You’re not a part of it.”

  Now Rafael was the one to look affronted. “Excuse me?”

  “My relationship with Aric is none of your business,” I said.

  “I was under the impression that your relationship with the … dog … was in the past tense.”

  “It is,” I said. “I just … don’t goad him. It’s not necessary.”

  “Well, it seems like your life is just as much of a mess as it’s always been,” Brittany said, her tone prim. “How do you manage to make every man in your general vicinity deranged?”

  “Just lucky, I guess,” I replied, rubbing my forehead. “I think that’s one of my magical talents.”

  “You should get home,” Rafael said. “I’ll walk you.”

  “I’ll walk her,” Aric interjected, his tone stronger now. “We have some things to discuss.”

  “No, you don’t,” Rafael argued. “You’re out of her life.”

  “And you’re in, I suppose?”

  “I’m more in than you.”

  This was all too much. “Stop it!”

  Every face on the lawn turned in my direction.

  “Just … don’t,” I said. “I can’t deal with this. It’s like a soap opera. It never ends. I mean, we have Paris dumping Mark in one corner. Kelsey is insulting people in another. Rafael and Aric are fighting for the rights to a possession, not a person. And, well, then we have Brittany and my ex-boyfriend.

  “I can’t take it anymore,” I continued. “It’s just all too much.”

  Kelsey put her hand on my arm, her face worried. “Let’s go home.”

  I nodded, wordlessly following her onto the sidewalk. I didn’t look back, but I knew Paris had joined our small procession, her footsteps echoing in the night. I had no idea what Brittany, Mark, Will, Rafael, and Aric were doing – but I couldn’t risk a backwards glance to find out.

  I was done. I was so done.

  September

  Five

  When Monday came, I was almost relieved. I’d hidden in the house for the rest of the weekend, ignoring everything else going on inside of the small abode (including the constant fights between Tally and Kelsey). I’d seen Rafael – once – standing guard in the backyard. We didn’t talk, and I was thankful for that.

  The room I ultimately opted for was the one in the back of everything, adjacent to the kitchen, and secluded from the main hub of the house. The window looked out on the back lawn, and the back door was easy for me to access. It was small – but comfortable.

  The first day of classes was uneventful. I’d purposely opted for journalism classes that weren’t taught by Sam Blake, the head of the monster-hunting academy. I’d been introduced to the Academy my first semester at Covenant College, but I’d never embraced it. They wanted me because I was “special.” I wanted to avoid them for the same reason.

  Now I wasn’t so sure.

  I had a layout class at noon, followed by Oceanography with Paris, and then creative writing in the late afternoon. It was a relaxing day.

  I should have realized things wouldn’t stay that way. They never did.

  I was on my way home when I ran into Mark. He was standing outside the library, watching the building with a mixture of curiosity and sadness, and he looked forlorn.

  “Hey.”

  Mark turned when he heard my voice. “Hey, Zoe. How are you after your meltdown the other night?”

  “It wasn’t a meltdown.”

  “It was pretty close.”

  I couldn’t argue, so I diverted. “How are you after the breakup?”

  “I’ve been better.”

  I patted his shoulder, unsure of how to console him. “It’s not personal, Mark,” I said. “Paris just needs time to think.”

  “It’s because I’m boring,” Mark said. “I get it.”

  “You’re not boring,” I argued.

  “She thinks I am.”

  “It’s college,” I offered lamely. “Everyone wants to experiment in college.”

  “Is that what she’s doing? Experimenting?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said, figuring honesty was the best way to go. “I just think she needs time.”

  “Do you think she’ll … come back to me?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  Mark sighed. “She’s not coming back. I don’t know why I’m even trying to delude myself. She’s never been interested in me … not in the same way I’m interested in her.”

  I pressed my lips together, exhaling heavily from my nose. “Maybe not,” I said. “Finding someone to connect with at a place like this is hard. At least you connected.”

  “Like you did with Aric? Or like you have with Rafael?”

  The question was pointed. “Connecting is a weird thing,” I admitted. “Sometimes connections aren’t always what you think they’re going to be.”

  “You know, I wanted to … connect … with you first,” Mark said. “You were the one I was attracted to that very first day.”

  Part of me had known that. As nice of a guy as he was, Mark just wasn’t my type. “I know.”

  “Did you ever even consider giving me a chance?”

  “No,” I said, hoping I wasn’t hurting his feelings. “I had a boyfriend when we met. I honestly was trying to make that work. After that … well, things moved pretty quickly.”

  “And that Aric guy is God’s gift to women,” Mark said. “He l
ooks like a Greek god. I get it.”

  “It wasn’t about his looks, well, not entirely. I just felt drawn to him,” I said. I didn’t add that the feeling hadn’t dissipated.

  “And now?”

  I shrugged. “Some things just don’t work out.”

  “Like me and Paris.”

  “Like you and Paris,” I agreed.

  “Like you and Aric.”

  “Definitely like me and Aric.”

  “What about the other guy?”

  “Rafael? It’s too soon to tell.”

  “Do you like him?”

  That was the question, wasn’t it? “Sometimes.”

  “And other times?” Mark prodded.

  “And other times I want … something else,” I replied.

  “You mean you want someone else,” Mark corrected. “You want the really sad-looking dude from Alpha Chi. You want the werewolf.”

  I glanced around, making sure no one was in hearing distance. “Mark, it’s important that you don’t … .”

  “Tell anyone what he is? I know that.”

  “You’re part of the Academy, though,” I said. “They’ll pressure you for information. They might not tell you the truth all of the time.”

  “Are you going to join the Academy?” Mark asked. “Blake thinks you are.”

  That figured. “I’m considering it.”

  “Because of Laura?”

  “Because of everything,” I said. “They fight evil, right? I’m not a big fan of evil these days.”

  “I guess, in your position, I wouldn’t be either,” Mark said. “You should consider joining.”

  “I am.”

  “But you’re not sure?”

  “I don’t like being told what to do,” I said. “And, to be fair, I’m not a hundred percent sure they’re … right.”

  “How can fighting evil be wrong?” Mark asked.

  “There are different levels of evil, Mark,” I replied. “How can you be sure that the Academy isn’t evil on some level?”

  “Because they fight evil-doers,” Mark said simply. “You can’t be evil if you’re the ones fighting the evil.”

  He had a point. Still … .

  “Just because you’re different, that doesn’t make you evil,” I said.