Only the Quiet Read online

  He stared hard into my eyes, his lips inches from mine. He didn’t move forward, though, and it took effort to tamp down the hot rush of disappointment that caused my skin to burn when he didn’t close the distance to plant his lips on mine.

  “I’m not going to kiss you,” he announced, ending the moment.

  “What?” I took an involuntary step back, thankful for the whoosh of air that blew between us. “I didn’t ask you to kiss me. In fact, I told you we’re not going to date. I said it first.”

  His lips curved. “You don’t mean that. I’m not going to kiss you until you ask me to. I just thought I should make you aware of that.”

  “Ask you?” I thought my eyebrows would fly off my forehead. “I’m never going to ask you to kiss me. I just ... you’re dreaming if you think that’s going to happen.”

  “Oh, it’ll happen.” He was smug as he took a step away from me. “I think it’ll happen sooner than you realize. I want you to be the one to ask me, though. I insist on that.”

  I couldn’t stop myself from asking the obvious question. “I’m not saying it’s ever going to happen. In fact, it’s not going to happen. I’m putting my foot down … and hard. But out of curiosity, why would you possibly want me to ask you?”

  “Because I want to make sure you want it. I’m pretty sure you do, but you need to put a little effort in. It can’t be all about me pursuing you. You need to want me as much as I want you.”

  I chewed my bottom lip and kept silent. Honestly, I had no idea what to say.

  “You’re going to ask.” He grinned as he waved. “I can’t wait until it happens, by the way. I’ll be in touch tomorrow. I’ll make sure to call if something comes up.”

  “That’s really not necessary,” I called after him.

  “I’ll do it all the same. You asked for it.”

  Sadly, I worried that was true. It wouldn’t be the first time my big mouth got me into trouble. I very much doubted it would be the last.

  Five

  I tossed and turned for an hour before I fell asleep. Braden’s cocky attitude haunted me, and not simply because I thought he was wrong. There was a very good chance he was right ... and that irritated me.

  When sleep finally claimed me, I dreamt about the baby. That was weird in a different way, and frustrating because trying to ascertain what an infant is thinking isn’t easy. Still, I woke with a clear idea how to make the situation better ... and that’s what I set out to do.

  “What’s in the conservatory?” I asked Collin O’Reilly, the man who ran the only eatery on the island. It happened to be located in the aquarium, which meant it was convenient for breakfast.

  “What do you mean?” Collin was the odd sort. He was a merrow, which meant he was a man of the sea, but he had a cranky temper and reportedly hated his wife to distraction. I’d met both of them, and her feelings for him were equally complicated. I didn’t pretend to understand their issues, but they were expedient sources of information for an island I was still reacquainting myself with.

  “The conservatory,” I repeated, shoveling oatmeal in as I sucked down coffee. “There are plants inside, right? Herbs?”

  “It’s a greenhouse.”

  I fought to control my temper. “I know that, but what sort of things are inside? I mean ... what sort of plants?”

  “Oh.” He shook his head. “Everything is divided and looked after by volunteers. There’re five areas. There’s the palm house, which is the domed center. There’s also a tropical house in the south wing, a cactus house and fernery in the north wing and a show house in the east wing. That’s on top of the lily pond, which is just opening for the season.”

  I ran the information through my head. “What’s in the show house?”

  “It varies. They do a lot of shows in there.”

  Well, duh. I pretty much figured that out myself. “I’m betting they have a lot of different plants in there.”

  Collin shrugged, seemingly disinterested in the conversation. “I don’t particularly like the building. I’m a water guy, not a plant guy. Plus, Claire spends her time there.” He scowled at mention of his wife. “She’s a volunteer and helps take care of the plants. Apparently she’s spending more time than usual there because some of the seasonal volunteers just stopped showing up without warning. I try to stay away from her as much as possible.”

  I was new to the island and still learning about the inhabitants. Collin and Claire were among the few who actually lived on the island, along with Oliver and his boyfriend Brett Soloman, who lived in the casino, and me. I couldn’t understand why Collin and Claire didn’t divorce if they truly hated each other as much as they claimed, but whenever I asked they would only say that it was impossible. It really was none of my business, so I pushed their marital problems to the back of my mind and focused on Lily Taylor’s rather obvious distress.

  “Do I need special permission to go in there?” I asked, cleaning my bowl.

  “No. This time of year the volunteers are around, but if you have your lanyard with you they won’t give you any grief. Why?”

  I merely smiled. “I need some herbs. Plus, well, I figure it’s about time I learned more about my surroundings. I’ve been distracted.”

  “That’s what happens when wraiths supercharge themselves by crossing over and returning.”

  I wasn’t sure how much of the previous story he knew, but he didn’t seem all that invested in the tale. “Yeah, well, that’s over and done with.” Something occurred to me as I wiped the corners of my mouth with a napkin. “Have you ever seen ghosts here?”

  He arched an eyebrow. “Should I be seeing ghosts?”

  “No, but I’m wondering if there’s a contingent of them hanging around, perhaps hiding, because of the proximity to the gate. Maybe ... I mean, is it possible that they’re drawn to the gate?”

  The look on Collin’s face had me wishing I’d kept the question to myself. “How should I know? I’m responsible for the food, not the gate.”

  “I ... you’re right.” I forced a smile for his benefit. “It was a stupid question.”

  He didn’t look convinced.

  “Really stupid,” I added, getting to my feet. “It was the stupidest question ever. Forget I asked it.”

  Collin watched me with suspicious eyes until I vacated the eatery. If he wasn’t on the fence about me before, he definitely was now. But that was the least of my worries. I had a baby to calm and ghosts to track. I didn’t have time for him ... thankfully.

  I FOUND THE CONSERVATORY largely empty, which was a relief. I caught sight of Claire in the fern room as I pointed myself toward the palm room. I felt out of place, as if I was encroaching on her territory, so I offered up a lame wave so she wouldn’t think I was avoiding her. She didn’t return it.

  I opted to ignore her after that, losing myself in the majestic foliage. The building was absolutely beautiful, and the plants inside were exactly what I needed. I spent a good hour searching for the ingredients I needed. When I’d found everything on my list — except for one specific item — I headed out to the lily pond. That’s where I found the final ingredient ... and where Cormack Grimlock found me.

  “I don’t want to judge,” he hedged when he realized my shoes were off and I was wading in the cold water.

  “You can judge.” I smiled at him as I rummaged in the water, coming back with a plant that I managed to yank from beneath the surface while maintaining the important root ball I sought. “Finally!”

  “What is that?”

  I smiled at him. “Sweet flag. I’m making a salve for you to rub on Lily’s chest. It should help to calm her.”

  Cormack was taken aback. “I ... that’s why you’re out here so early? You’re trying to help Lily?”

  “She’s a very high-strung baby.” I almost tripped coming out of the pond. He grabbed my arm and gripped hard before I could topple to the ground face first. “You’ve probably noticed that she has a few issues.”

  “Oh, I�
�ve noticed.”

  Up close I realized he had circles under his eyes. The man was always together, dressed in an expensive suit without a hair out of place, but he looked tired today.

  “I’m guessing that Lily ran you ragged last night?” I carried the sweet flag to the pile of herbs I’d collected and then motioned for him to follow me to the golf cart parked in the lot.

  “Lily is ... a very loud child.” Cormack was obviously choosing his words carefully. He didn’t want to disparage his only grandchild. His restlessness was palpable, though. “Where are we going?”

  “Back to the boathouse,” I replied without hesitation. “I need the kitchen to make the salve.”

  “I ... well ... okay.” He didn’t protest when I handed him the herbs and hopped in the driver’s seat. My feet were still bare because they were cold and drying. I didn’t want to ruin my shoes by putting them on too early, so I simply tossed them in the basket at the back of the cart.

  “Did you get any sleep last night?” I asked as we sped toward the boathouse. “Were you up by yourself the entire time?”

  “No. Everyone pitched in. Braden and Redmond were with me the entire time. We panicked at one point and called Maya, which meant Cillian showed up, too. They ended up spending the night in Cillian’s old room.”

  I smiled. “So ... it was a group effort.”

  “Aidan didn’t help.” Cormack’s gaze turned dark when he mentioned his youngest son and Aisling’s twin. “One would think he’d want to help his sister.”

  “I’m willing to bet he has been helping,” I offered. “He lives next door to Aisling and Griffin, right? I’m sure he’s been taking Lily as often as possible. Ignoring the way Aisling is fading wouldn’t be in his wheelhouse.”

  Cormack’s eyes were sharp when he looked toward me. “She’s not fading. She’s just ... struggling.”

  “You’re all struggling.” I stopped in front of the boathouse and collected the herbs from him. “Come on. You can help.”

  “Help what?” He looked lost as he trailed behind me. “You said you’re making a salve. I don’t understand. Can’t you just wave your hands and make this better? For that matter, can’t you just wave your hands and make the baby sleep?”

  “I probably could, but that won’t make things better for you over the long haul. It’s a temporary fix at best.”

  “Yes, but ... even a temporary fix is better than nothing at this point.”

  I wasn’t sure that was true. “We need to get to the root of Lily’s issues,” I countered, leading him into the kitchen and dropping the herbs on the counter. I searched through the cupboards until I found a huge pot, to which I added water and put on the stove. “We need to chop the herbs,” I instructed. “You can help with that.”

  I retrieved two knives from the drawer and handed him a cutting board. “Start with the sweet flag. We want the roots.”

  “I don’t know what that is.” He looked helpless but game to try.

  I pointed out the herb in question. “Wash the roots first and then chop them into tiny pieces.”

  He didn’t offer up any complaint as he started to work. “Did you learn how to do this from your grandfather?”

  “Yes.”

  “He’s a Bruja like you, correct?”

  “He’s ... kind of like me,” I hedged. “The thing is, I got a double dose of it. My father was a reaper, something he inherited from his mother. My grandfather is my father’s father, which means my father was half Bruja and half reaper. My mother was a different sort of Bruja — more air than earth, which is not necessary information in regards to this conversation. She was trying to teach me a different way of life when she died.”

  “Ah.” Understanding dawned on his handsome features. “So, you’re really only one-quarter reaper.”

  “Does that bother you?”

  “No. My son-in-law has no reaper in him. I’m not one of those fanatical purists who think reapers should mate only with other reapers. My wife wasn’t a born reaper. She was absorbed into the family fold and had enough magic in her that she could serve as a reaper after we wed, but she was hardly a pureblood.”

  “That means your children are only fifty-percent reaper and fifty-percent something else.”

  “I suppose so. I never really thought about it.” He rubbed his forehead with the back of his hand. “I stopped here because I wanted to talk to you. I didn’t get much of a chance last night given everything that’s going on with Lily.

  “First, I really am thankful that you noticed Aisling’s distress and said something,” he continued. “I thought she was just tired ... like a normal new mother would be tired. She complains so much that I didn’t notice the signs that she was truly spiraling.”

  “It’s not as if she was going to do anything drastic,” I said hurriedly. “I mean ... she often acts out and does things without thinking them through. She wasn’t going to hurt herself or the baby, though. I would’ve seen that.”

  “I don’t want my children to suffer.” He spoke from the heart. “I’ll do what is necessary to help her. If that means hiring a full-time nurse to ease her burden so she and Griffin can get some sleep, I’m fine with that. Money is good only if you can use it to help those most important to you.”

  I smiled. He had a ridiculously sweet heart, something I figured he passed on to his children ... even though some of them would rather cut off their own arms than admit it. “This should help. The baby only has an issue because Aisling has an issue, and she’s not going to shake her issue until she manages to get some sleep and regroup.”

  “What issue?”

  I dropped some of the herbs I’d been cutting into the pot, buying myself time to consider how I wanted to respond. Finally, I decided telling the truth was the best option. “Aisling is afraid she’s going to be a bad mother. Lily can feel that worry. She picks up on the fear, and it unsettles her.”

  Cormack stilled. “Why would Aisling think that?”

  “I don’t know. The answers I got were from Lily’s brain. She obviously doesn’t understand what’s going on. She only knows it upsets her.”

  “But ... Aisling is going to be fine.” Cormack sounded sure of himself. “She won’t be perfect, but no one is. Her mother wasn’t perfect. Although ... perhaps I built my wife up to be more perfect than she was after the fact.”

  “You turned her into a martyr,” I surmised. “I’m guessing that’s normal when a parent dies. You turn the dead partner into a perfect example so memories are never tarnished.”

  “Did your grandfather do that with you?” he asked, curiosity etched across his handsome face. “Your parents died and he was left to pick up the pieces. Did he paint them as perfect?”

  “No.” I smiled at the notion. “My grandfather is a bit more ... persnickety. He was angry with my parents for failing to escape. He was also angry because he didn’t want my father to join the reaper profession. He blamed my father for what happened.”

  “I’m sure that was a cover for what he really felt,” Cormack said hurriedly. “Grief makes people act out in peculiar ways.”

  “I know. He didn’t mean the things he said.”

  “I saw it in my children when they lost their mother a second time.” Cormack appeared mired in deep thoughts, but he continued to cut herbs. “Seeing the real Lily — my wife, I mean — was difficult for all of us. It brought peace in some ways and angst in others.

  “Aisling was the one who got the most peace out of seeing her,” he continued. “Knowing that the thing that came back wasn’t the mother she loved allowed her to let go of some of the anger she carried. She was better after losing her mother a second time. Braden, on the other hand, was worse.”

  Mention of Braden made me uncomfortable. “He seems fine. I mean ... I don’t know him well, but he’s not being a royal pain or anything.”

  Cormack chuckled, the sound low and throaty. “You’re funny. You have all this insight into other people but can’t point it inward.�
��

  That felt like an insult. “I see things clearly.”

  “Not where Braden is concerned,” he countered. “You think you do, but you’re wearing sunglasses indoors when it comes to him. It’s all right. Don’t get defensive. I learned my lesson with Aisling and Griffin. I’m going to allow you and Braden to figure things out on your own.”

  “There’s nothing to figure out.”

  “Of course not.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “I can tell.” He grinned as he handed me some herbs. “I really did come here for two reasons. One was to thank you, which I’ve already done. I got distracted by our discussion. The other is to tell you that the home office is starting to make noise. You need to fill the open position under your purview. You can’t let it drag much longer.”

  “I haven’t purposely been letting it drag,” I protested, annoyance coming out to play. “It’s just ... I’m still getting used to the job. Today was the first day I’d ever been in the conservatory, for crying out loud. How am I supposed to know who to hire when I’m not even sure where I fit in yet?”

  “You don’t have to carve out a space for yourself in this facility. Your space is already set.”

  “Yeah, but ... .”

  “Renee is gone,” he reminded me. “She was trying to mold things to her liking. Oliver has been here for a long time. He goes with the flow ... and is more than happy to pick up the slack.”

  “Even though he’s tightlipped on things from the past,” I muttered, pressing the heel of my hand to my forehead. “I’ll find someone to hire. I promise. I’m not putting it off. I simply thought helping Lily was more important.”

  “Helping Lily is important to all of us. Making sure you’re safe here, that things are running smoothly, is also important.

  “You’ve gone out of your way to help my family,” he continued. “Whether you realize it or not, that means you’re part of it. I expect things to progress with you and Braden. Don’t give me any lip. You might be fighting the effort, but you know how things are going to go. You’re too sensitive to look past the obvious.”