4 Waxing & Waning Read online

  I straightened. Was he talking about me?

  “You’re not going near her,” Aric said.

  “Do you really think you can stop me?” Will asked. “It’s not like she trusts you.”

  “She might not trust me,” Aric said. “I can’t change that. I’ve tried … I … there’s nothing I can do about that.”

  “And you’re all heartbroken,” Will said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “She crushed you.”

  Aric grabbed Will’s shoulders, lifting him a full foot off the ground. “Don’t forget your place here, Will. You don’t have the power to take me on.”

  “I don’t need your power,” Will said.

  “No, you’ve allied with another faction,” Aric said. “Again.”

  “I have not,” Will protested. Years spent together told me he was lying. “I’m not with anyone.”

  Aric shook his head. “I’m warning you,” he said. “Stay away from her. There’s no reason for me to even catch a hint of your scent by her. If I do … .”

  “You’ll what? Kill me?”

  “Perhaps,” Aric said, dropping Will to the ground and starting down the steps that led from the porch.

  “You know you can’t save her,” Will challenged. “Sooner or later, you’re going to have to accept that.”

  “I don’t.”

  “Come on, Aric,” Will said. “She’s going to die. She has to die. It’s either her or us. You can’t protect her. You don’t have the power.”

  The growl emanating from Aric’s throat was loud, reverberating across two lawns. I could feel his anger from here. “Stay away from her. I’m warning you. I’m more powerful than you realize. When it comes time to take care of her, I’ll be the one handling that particular task.”

  Nine

  “He said he’d handle you? What is that supposed to mean?”

  I’d been home for less than a half hour, but I’d already told my story to two curious roommates twice. I had a feeling Professor Blake would balk at me telling Kelsey and Paris about the inner workings of the Academy. Funnily enough, I felt no guilt about my actions.

  “I have no idea what it meant. Why do you think I’m telling the two of you?” Deep down inside, I knew it wasn’t Kelsey and Paris’ fault. I was still … agitated.

  “Why didn’t you ask him?” Kelsey asked.

  “You mean, why didn’t I step out from the bushes and say, ‘Hey, I’m sorry I was eavesdropping, but what did you mean by that?’”

  “Pretty much.”

  “It didn’t seem like a good idea at the time,” I said. “Mark was there. And Will.”

  “So, why don’t you go and ask him now?” Paris asked. “You could go alone. It’s not like he would turn you away.”

  No. He wouldn’t turn me away. I wasn’t sure I could deal with seeing him on a one-on-one basis, though. “I don’t know … .”

  “Is it because you really don’t want to see him?” Paris asked.

  “Or is it because you really do want to see him?” Kelsey added.

  “It’s because I don’t want to deal with it,” I said. “I’m not ready. I can’t … I just can’t.”

  Paris held her hands up. “Okay. Then you have to find a different way to find out.”

  “What would you suggest?”

  “Will.”

  I stilled. “Will? He’s the one who wants to kill me,” I said. “Why would I ever want to be alone with him?”

  “I’m not saying to approach the situation through Will,” Paris said. “I’m saying to approach it through his significant other.”

  Ugh. I’d rather be killed by Will than deal with … her. “I am not asking Brittany for anything.”

  “You don’t have to,” Paris said, getting to her feet. “I’ll stop in and visit her.”

  “What? Right now?”

  “It’s better to get ahead of this than behind it,” Paris said. “I can use the excuse that I’m out for a walk and I think I’m being followed.”

  “You seem to be forgetting that, on this campus, you very well may be followed,” I pointed out. “And killed.”

  “I’ll go with her,” Kelsey said. “I’ll drop her off a block away and wait in the car.”

  “I don’t know,” I hedged.

  “It will be perfectly fine as long as she doesn’t see you,” Paris said, patting me on the shoulder. “She still likes me.”

  “But you picked living with me over living with her,” I said.

  “That made it easier for her to move into the sorority house,” Paris replied. “She was secretly happy about it.”

  “If you say so.”

  SITTING docile on the couch waiting for others to complete a mission was a new feeling for me. I didn’t like it. After pacing across the small living room about a hundred times, I gave up and walked outside.

  October nights in mid-Michigan are a mixed bag. Some drop into the forties, while others remain in the sixties. Tonight was on the warmer end, but winter would be coming soon.

  I had no idea where I was going when I set off. I had no destination, just a busy mind. I was walking for almost an hour when I felt someone watching me. I paused, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, and listened closer. I hadn’t heard anyone. Not yet, at least. I knew he was there. He has a certain presence.

  “Rafael? I know you’re there.”

  “You’re getting better,” he said, stepping out from behind a tree about twenty yards behind me. He was dressed in his usual outfit, black from head to toe, and his face was drawn and grim.

  “I can sense you specifically,” I said.

  “That’s either good news or bad news,” Rafael said. “I would feel better if you could sense others around you, too. I’m flattered you’re so in tune with me.”

  “Don’t be,” I said. “You’ve followed me so many times I just have a feeling whenever you’re around. I think another woman with a stalker would develop the same power.”

  Rafael arched an eyebrow. “So, now I’m a stalker?”

  “You have some of the same personality defects.”

  “Which are?”

  “Lurking.”

  “I don’t lurk.”

  “Oh, you’re the definition of a lurker,” I scoffed. “You’re also a busybody. You have that in common with my mother.”

  “And I suppose you think your personality is flawless,” Rafael challenged.

  “Oh, no, I’m very self-aware,” I said. “I’m bossy. I’m mean. I’m sarcastic. I have the attention span of a gnat. I’m narcissistic. I’m easily bored. I take out my frustrations on others. Oh, and I’m prone to fits of unrepentant anger.”

  Rafael smirked. “You are definitely self-aware.”

  The smile I sent him back was small, but heartfelt. “What are you doing out here?”

  “Looking for you.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I had a feeling you were in danger,” Rafael said.

  The smile slid off of my face. “No you didn’t.”

  “I did.”

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. “You came to find me because you wanted to find me. Let’s not start the night out with any lies or half-truths.”

  Rafael cocked his head to the side, considering. “Perhaps I wanted to see you,” he conceded.

  “Next time? Just be honest.”

  “I’ll consider it,” Rafael said. “If you consider telling me the truth.”

  “What truth am I not telling?”

  “What were you doing outside of the Alpha Chi house with the long-haired hippie this evening?”

  I snorted. “First off, no one uses the word ‘hippie’ anymore. You’re dating yourself when you say stuff like that. Second, I need you to stop following me. It’s creepy, and I hate feeling smothered.”

  “You feel like I smother you?”

  “You have your moments.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “I’ll stop following you,” Rafael said, holding up
a finger to temper my immediate reaction. “If you make an effort to tell me the truth.”

  “Fine.”

  “It’s a deal?”

  “It’s a deal,” I agreed. “What do you want to know?”

  “You haven’t told me much about your time with the Academy,” he said. “How are things going?”

  “If you wanted to know, why didn’t you ask?”

  “Because I thought you would tell me when you were ready,” Rafael said. “I believe things happen in their own time.”

  “So, you just waited?” I wasn’t used to patient men.

  “I bided my time,” he clarified.

  “They’ve kept me out of classrooms,” I said. “I’m not sure why. Part of me thinks it’s because Blake thinks I’m not smart enough to grasp what they’re teaching there.”

  “And the other part of you?”

  “They’re teaching things there they don’t want me to see.”

  “You don’t think he trusts you,” Rafael mused. “That’s an interesting turn of events. You don’t trust him, and now he doesn’t trust you.”

  “I don’t think he ever trusted me,” I said. “He just wants to study me.”

  “I guess that makes sense,” Rafael said, shifting so he could lean against a tree. “Have you given him anything to study?”

  “Nope.”

  “So, what have you been doing?”

  “Physical drills,” I said. “They’ve been training me to fight. Getting me in shape for … something.”

  “And what do you think that something is?”

  “I have no idea,” I said. “Once I know, then I’ll be able to form a plan of action.”

  “And your spying mission at the Alpha Chi house this evening?”

  “He ordered it,” I said. “I wasn’t going to do it at first, but then I decided it was the lesser of two evils.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning that I’m going to have to go out on some sort of mission eventually,” I said. “I might as well at least make it look like I’m cooperating.”

  “Aren’t you? Cooperating, I mean.”

  “To some extent.”

  “So, you still don’t trust him either.”

  “I don’t trust anyone,” I replied.

  “Not even me?”

  I shrugged. “I trust you as much as I trust anyone.”

  “I guess I can’t ask for more.”

  “Not now, no.”

  Rafael nodded. “And you’re out walking now because?”

  “Because I’m antsy,” I said. “I need to think.”

  “And I suppose you want to think alone?” Rafael pressed.

  “That’s when I do my best thinking.”

  Rafael nodded, his shoulders lowering in resignation. “Then I guess I’ll let you think.”

  “Thank you.”

  I DIDN’T believe him. His intentions were good, but his follow-through wasn’t historically stellar. I think he actually meant what he said, but meaning something and actually doing something were two totally different things.

  I decided to test him.

  It took me almost a half hour to walk across campus and, when I found myself in a familiar parking lot, I stood and waited. He didn’t appear. If he was following me, he kept far enough away that I couldn’t sense him.

  I glanced up at the apartment building in front of me and sighed. I’d spent so many nights here last year, it felt like a second home. It was his home, of course. Aric’s apartment was on the second floor, and I could see the doorway that led to the stairwell from where I was standing.

  I told myself that I’d come here to test Rafael. If he thought I was going to approach Aric, he would try to stop me. In truth, though, I came for me. Happiness was a hard emotion to wrap my mind around these days, so I’d come to the spot I last remembered being truly happy.

  Death is a funny thing. After the events of my freshman year at Covenant College, I’d joked that death followed me. Now, I felt it was true. Death and destruction really did follow me, even when I was hiding and fleeing. There was no escape.

  I was just about to turn and leave when I heard a door open. Instinct took over, and I ducked behind a car to camouflage myself. Voices followed the door – and one of them was Aric’s. The other belonged to a woman. A woman was walking out of Aric’s apartment – and the realization hit me like a fist.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay? We could spend some time together. You could tell me what’s wrong.”

  “Nothing is wrong,” Aric said. “I have some stuff I need to get done.”

  “You’re a senior, and your father is a senator,” the woman scoffed. “They’ll pass you just because of who you are.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to pass that way,” Aric replied. “Maybe I would rather do the work and accomplish it on my own.”

  “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “I know,” Aric said. “I just have some stuff to do.”

  “And you don’t want to tell me what happened tonight?”

  “Nothing happened,” Aric said. “It was just a fraternity meeting.”

  “I thought those were supposed to be fun.”

  “Then you heard wrong.”

  Even from here, I could hear the aggravation in Aric’s voice. She was pressing him – and he didn’t want to be pressed.

  “Well, okay,” she said.

  I tipped my head around the edge of the car so I could get a look at the woman, curiosity getting the better of me. She was tall and willowy, long auburn hair cascading down her back. Her toned legs were on display in tight black leggings, and she had her hand on Aric’s arm.

  I wanted to punch her.

  She leaned in, like she was going to kiss him, but Aric pulled his head back to thwart her attempt.

  “I’ll see you later,” he said, running a hand through his shaggy hair before turning on his heel and walking back into the building. He didn’t look back.

  The woman wrinkled her nose, her disappointment evident. I remained hidden until she climbed into her car and drove away. When she was gone, I straightened. For a second – just one – I considered going to him.

  I went home instead.

  Ten

  I woke up in a foul mood the next morning, my dreams plagued by images of Aric sharing his bed with the auburn-haired devil. Rationally, I knew I had no reason to be angry. I’d ended it with him. We’d been apart for five months. Thinking he wouldn’t move on was naïve.

  It still hurt.

  I decided to take out my aggression on today’s sparring partner. His name was Nick, and the only thing I knew about him was that he was big and he thought being paired with a girl was somehow beneath him.

  After I’d knocked him to the ground for the third time, he wasn’t taking it so lightly anymore. “I don’t want to hit a girl,” he warned.

  “Don’t think of me as a girl,” I replied. “Think of me as the enemy.”

  Nick clenched his right fist, but I read the move and dodged when he lashed out with his left. I raised my leg, slamming it into his stomach with as much force as I could muster. When he doubled over, I jammed my linked fingers down on the back of his neck and brought him to his knees.

  It felt good.

  Nick toppled over, gasping for breath.

  “I think you’ve made your point,” Professor Blake said.

  I glanced up to find him standing in the doorway watching us. “He’s the one who didn’t want me to take it easy on him.”

  “And I’m sure he’s regretting that now,” Blake said. “Nick, why don’t you go and check in with the nurse.”

  “I’m fine,” Nick rasped out.

  “Just play it safe,” Blake instructed. “I need a few moments alone with Zoe.”

  Nick straightened, casting a dark look in my direction before limping out of the training room. I hadn’t even touched his legs. What a baby.

  When Nick was gone, I busied myself with drinking from a bottl
e of water and waiting to let Blake approach me. He wanted the opposite – I was sure of that – but ceding control to him on even a minor point wasn’t something I was willing to do. Not today.

  “So, your training seems to be going well,” Blake said, finally stepping into the room and giving me control of the conversation.

  “It’s going,” I said, wiping the sweat from my brow.

  “And, are you enjoying your time with us?”

  I shrugged. “It’s fine.”

  “You don’t seem fine,” he said. “In fact, you seem the opposite of fine.”

  “You don’t know me very well. You’ll figure out pretty soon that this is how I look when I’m fine.”

  “You’re right that I don’t know you very well, Zoe,” Blake said, pulling two folding chairs over to the center of the room and positioning them so they were facing each other. He sat in one and motioned for me to sit in the other. Once I was seated, he continued. “I do know that you seem … unhappy.”

  “Have you ever seen me happy?” I asked. “It seems to me that every time you’ve seen me, I’ve been pretty unhappy.”

  “When dealing with me? Yes,” Blake said. “When dealing with others, though, I have seen you happy.”

  “I think you’re imagining it.”

  “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  “What makes you think anything is wrong?”

  “Because, for a girl who used to smile all of the time, I only see it in rare instances now,” Blake said.

  “Maybe it’s just you?”

  Blake pursed his lips. “Or maybe it’s the events of last year and your unwillingness to deal with them that is making you unhappy?”

  He was digging. He knew I wasn’t telling the truth about Laura and her … disappearance. “Or maybe I’m just focused on the goals you’ve set,” I suggested.

  “I would like to believe that,” Blake said. “It doesn’t fit the Zoe Lake that I’ve come to know and … .”

  “Love?” I finished for him.

  “I was going to say respect,” Blake said.

  Now he was just playing with me. “I don’t know what you want me to say,” I said. “I’m here. I’m doing my job. I don’t think my personal life has anything to do with you.”

  “And it’s your personal life that’s got you so upset?”