Wicked Witches of the Midwest 9 Read online

  I honestly couldn’t remember, but for some reason I felt guilty when I told him as much.

  “You went back to sleep right away, but you were making little whimpering noises when you woke,” Landon said, stroking the back of my head. “I wondered if you dreamed about Annie’s ghosts.”

  He was giving me far too much credit. I was dreaming about my ghosts, the ones I was so reluctant to tell him about because I didn’t want him to worry, and now he was worrying anyway.

  “It’s okay, Landon,” I said, tracing the outline of his abdominal muscles. “I’m fine. It was just a dream.”

  “Yes, well, I prefer you to have happy dreams,” Landon said. “I want to be the leading man of your dreams, but I’ll take a good dream with someone else over whatever upset you last night any day of the week.”

  “That’s kind of sweet.”

  “That’s how I roll.” Landon mustered a mischievous smile. “I love you, Bay. I want you to always be happy.”

  “I’m feeling pretty happy now.”

  Landon pressed a soft kiss to my mouth. “I’ll bet I can make you happier.”

  I had a feeling he was right. “Did I tell you about the dream I had after I went back to sleep? That one I definitely remember.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Landon looked intrigued. “What happened?”

  “Well, we were at the lake and you planned a picnic,” I started. “Then for some unknown reason we were naked and swimming. Oh, and there was bacon.”

  Landon’s eyes lit up. “Now that sounds like a dream.”

  “Do you want to make it come true?”

  “You want to go down to the lake?” Landon was understandably dubious. “I’m willing to do it, mind you, but you forget that I know how lazy you are in the morning.”

  “Well, maybe not the lake,” I conceded. “We do have a bathtub, though.”

  “What about the bacon?”

  Now it was my turn to grin. “I was saving it for a surprise, but some lady on Etsy makes bacon-scented shower gel. It arrived yesterday.”

  Landon barked out a laugh, delighted. “Did you buy that for me?”

  “Who else?”

  “That sounds like a plan,” Landon said, giving me another kiss before rolling out from beneath the covers and extending his hand as he stood next to the bed. “Come on. I’m going to make you smell like bacon. That’s the way to start the day out right.”

  “I’m coming,” I said, taking a moment to stretch my legs on the other side of the bed before padding toward the door. “If you like the smell I’ll stock up on the shower gel. I’m guessing that I’ll never smell like coconuts or pears ever again.”

  “Something tells me I’ll like it,” Landon said, his eyebrows knitting as he watched me attempt to open the door. For some reason, the handle wouldn’t turn. “Is something wrong?”

  “The door is locked,” I replied, pressing the button to unlock it. “I don’t remember locking it, though.”

  “We sometimes do it out of habit,” Landon said. “I might’ve accidentally locked it during the middle of the night.”

  I twisted the handle, expecting the door to pop open, but it remained locked. “I … don’t understand.” I rolled my neck until it cracked. “Why won’t this open?”

  “Here. Let me try.” Landon pressed one hand to my hip and used the other to mess with the door. He tried three times to open it and failed each time. “Okay, that is really weird.” He rubbed his chin as he stared at the door. “I’m not a construction person or anything, but I think we need a screwdriver to take that handle off.”

  “It’s just so weird,” I complained, jiggling the handle and letting my frustration take over at my fruitless attempts. “It was working fine last night.”

  “I think we should take this as a sign,” Landon said. “The door won’t open, so the universe clearly doesn’t want us to leave the bedroom. Let’s spend the day in bed.”

  He was a predictable creature – which I truly loved – but I was legitimately starving because I had eaten very little of my dinner the night before. “I want breakfast!”

  “We can nourish ourselves with love,” Landon suggested, his eyes twinkling as he sat at the end of the bed.

  “I thought you wanted a bacon shower?”

  Landon shrugged. “I do want a bacon shower. But I’m just as happy crawling back under the covers and smelling regular you this morning.”

  That was sort of a weird thing to say. “What do I smell like?”

  “I have no idea,” Landon replied. “You smell like Bay. I like it.”

  “As sweet as that is – and you definitely deserve a reward – I’m really hungry.” As if on cue, my stomach growled. “I didn’t eat my entire dinner last night because my stomach was kind of unsettled after I flipped myself out in the library.”

  Landon’s expression momentarily darkened. “I forgot about that. You nibbled on your steak and then pushed the rest of your food around your plate to give the illusion you were eating.”

  Oh, he caught that. I wasn’t sure. He’s an FBI agent, so I guess I should’ve seen that coming. “Well, I’m starving now,” I said, hoping to avoid an in-depth discussion about last evening’s eating habits. “I need food, and the only thing in here to eat is the gum at the bottom of my purse.”

  “I’m happy living off love,” Landon said. He didn’t appear to be in a hurry to help me open the door.

  “They’re making bacon and omelets with bacon inside of them for breakfast up at the inn this morning,” I offered.

  Landon’s eyes lit up and he redoubled his efforts to open the door. “You had me at bacon, sweetie.”

  After two failed attempts, I heard snickering on the other side of the wooden door and grabbed Landon’s wrist to still him.

  “Thistle?”

  “No comprende.” The voice definitely belonged to Thistle, but she was trying to disguise it as she laughed at us from the hallway.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” I asked, anger coursing through me.

  “I don’t think I’m doing anything,” Thistle said, dropping the accent. “I know I’m putting my crafts room together today. And, since it’s a Saturday, that means you don’t have to go to work. I figured you and Landon would like a … forced vacation … so to speak.”

  “A forced vacation?” Landon shifted his eyes to me. “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

  “You’re missing out on the bacon,” I reminded him.

  “I love you more than bacon.”

  He was cute and sweet this morning, but I was starting to feel claustrophobic, which was ridiculous because my bedroom was the largest in the guesthouse. “I will make you pay if you don’t open this door, Thistle,” I threatened. “I’ll declare war if you’re not careful.”

  I couldn’t see Thistle’s face but she didn’t sound frightened on the other side of the obstruction. “I look forward to a lively day of curses. As for now, I’m ahead. It’s one to nothing.”

  I was incredulous as I glanced at Landon. “I’m going to kill her.”

  “I’m actually fine with it,” Landon said, flopping on the mattress. “If we had bacon, we could live here forever.”

  We definitely needed to talk about his priorities.

  “GET UP.”

  I paced the small area between the end of my bed and the door and glared at Landon as he flipped through a magazine on my bed.

  “You need to calm down, sweetie,” Landon chided, never moving his eyes from the article he was reading. “You’re making yourself crazy, and it’s not good for you. Thistle will let us out eventually.”

  Did he start smoking crack when I wasn’t looking? “I want to be let out now.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Are you even listening to me?” I strode to his side of the bed and snatched the magazine from him, tossing it against the wall as my frustration bubbled up. “We’re trapped!”

  “We’re hardly trapped,” Landon said, his eyes widening as he stared at m
e. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror a few seconds before I took the magazine from him and I didn’t blame him for thinking I was off my broomstick. I looked a little crazy with my hair standing on end. I couldn’t stop dragging my hand through it. Instead of smoothing it, my actions were having the opposite effect.

  “We are trapped,” I countered, instinctively knowing I sounded irrational, but unable to stop myself. “We can’t get out of this room. She’s going to let us die here.”

  “Okay, you’re being a real Winchester this morning I see,” Landon said, opening his arms and motioning for me to come to him. “Let me rub your back. That will calm you down.”

  I was never one to turn down an offered massage, but there was no way I could sit still for that. “Landon … we’re going to starve to death.”

  “We’re not going to starve to death,” Landon argued. “We’ve been locked in here for ten minutes. You’re hardly dying.”

  That’s not how it felt. “I … .”

  “Come here.” Landon motioned for me to join him again and I reluctantly did because I was at a loss for anything better to do. “Rest your head on my chest.”

  I followed Landon’s instructions and sighed when he began rubbing my back. His hands were gentle but insistent as he methodically attacked the kinks in my stiff muscles.

  “It’s okay, sweetie,” Landon murmured, kissing my cheek as he tried to soothe me. “I had no idea you were claustrophobic, though.”

  “I’m not claustrophobic.”

  “You certainly don’t like being locked in this room,” Landon pointed out. “You were fine when you thought you could leave at any moment. The second you realized you couldn’t it was as if someone threw a switch.”

  “I don’t like feeling cooped up,” I admitted.

  “This is a big bedroom. You’re not cooped up. Nothing bad is going to happen here. Er, well, I might play bad cop to your naughty speeder if you’re feeling bored, but that’s hardly the end of the world.”

  I snorted and shook my head. Even when I found him aggravating he always knew how to make me feel better. “I just don’t like being locked up.”

  “Why?”

  “Because … .” I was at a loss as to how to explain my fear. “Because I got locked in the basement once when I was a kid – Thistle did that, too – and I thought the furnace was going to eat me. I was small … and I cried … and I turned into a real baby.”

  “I think that’s normal,” Landon said. “I was afraid of my basement when I was a kid.”

  “Yes, but you didn’t cry and have nightmares for weeks,” I pointed out. “I honestly thought I would never get out of the basement, and I woke up screaming several times until my mother charmed a dreamcatcher and put it over my bed.”

  “That sounds like night terrors,” Landon mused, his eyes traveling to the dreamcatcher hanging on the corner post of my bed. “Is that the dreamcatcher?”

  I nodded. “It’s supposed to ward off nightmares.”

  “It didn’t work last night.”

  He had a point. “It probably needs to be recharged,” I said. “Every few months I need to cast a spell on it to keep it working. I guess I forgot recently because … well … I rarely have bad dreams when you’re around.”

  “Oh, well, that’s ridiculously cute,” Landon said, snuggling closer. “You should definitely recharge that thing, though. I don’t like it when you cry in your sleep.”

  I shifted my chin so I could stare at his profile. “I’m sure it was just a fluke, Landon. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I won’t do it again.”

  Landon stroked the back of my head as he locked gazes with me. “I don’t care about that,” he said. “I care about you getting the rest you need. I don’t like it when you’re unhappy.”

  “Two weeks ago Aunt Tillie cursed me to smell and taste like bacon and I was extremely upset,” I reminded him. “You didn’t mind that.”

  Landon cracked a smile. “That was different. You were unhappy for only five minutes, and then I made you very happy.”

  He wasn’t wrong. “I don’t remember what I dreamed about last night. I’ll recharge the dreamcatcher later, though. I’m sorry I woke you.”

  “I wouldn’t ever want anyone else to wake me,” Landon said. “Don’t apologize for waking me. I don’t mind. I would prefer happy dreams, but that’s not something we can always control.”

  I rested my head on the spot above his heart and took solace in the simple sound of it beating against my ear. We rested like that for five minutes before my claustrophobic angst returned. “Landon, I need to get out of this room.”

  “Five more minutes.”

  That sounded like torture given the circumstances. “I have to go to the bathroom … and I’m starving.”

  “Three more minutes.”

  “There’s bacon at the inn, Landon,” I reminded him. “My mother will keep you in bacon for the rest of your life if you get me out of this room.”

  Landon heaved a sigh, but he was smiling when he glanced at me. “You had me at bacon.”

  “I know.”

  “You owe me a vigorous snuggle session later.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re the only guy I know who owns up to liking to snuggle.”

  “I’m a man of many interests.”

  “You can say that again.”

  Landon smacked a loud kiss against my lips before sliding out from beneath me and striding toward the door. I followed him, genuinely curious as to how he was going to get us out, and then frowned when I heard the unmistakable sounds of Thistle and Marcus moving something big in the other room. I could hear them whispering to each other.

  “I’m going to make her eat a mountain of dirt,” I threatened.

  Landon’s eyes gleamed as he stared at me, and then I watched with utter delight as he removed the pins in the hinges and lifted the door away from the frame. I squeezed his arm in thanks as I stepped into the living room – sucking in a huge breath of freedom before narrowing my eyes and focusing on Thistle.

  Thistle’s face drained of color when she saw me, and she almost dropped her end of the big chest she carried with Marcus. “How did you get out?”

  “My boyfriend is the smartest man in the world.”

  “Thank you, Bay,” Landon said. “That was very sweet … and accurate.”

  I ignored him and scorched Thistle with a dark look. “You’re going to be sorry you ever messed with me.”

  Instead of backing down like a normal person, Thistle merely smiled. “Bring it on.”

  SEVEN

  T histle wisely disappeared from the guesthouse before I could wrap my hands around her neck. Landon dragged me into the shower while Marcus pulled Thistle into her bedroom, and by the time we exited the bathroom they were gone.

  That didn’t mean I was ready to let things go.

  “I’m going to make her smell like rotten cabbage and car farts for an entire week,” I grumbled, entering the family living quarters at the back of the inn. “She’ll wish she never met me.”

  “That sounds delightful,” Landon said, pulling up short when he caught sight of Aunt Tillie on the couch watching a morning news show. “How is the world today?”

  “Mildly entertaining.” Aunt Tillie didn’t even bother glancing at us. She wore floral leggings and an oversized black shirt with a glittery sugar skull on it. She’d been expanding her wardrobe of late – she loved online shopping – and she was taking some interesting risks. “One of those rappers got arrested for shooting someone.”

  “That’s hardly news,” Landon said. “What else is going on?”

  “There’s no peace in the Middle East.”

  I pursed my lips to keep from laughing. “Does that upset you?”

  “I think they should send me over there,” Aunt Tillie replied, finally dragging her eyes from the television. “I could settle their problems in five minutes flat.”

  “Oh, yeah? How would you do that?”


  “Wine, pot and porn. That always helps when things are tense.”

  “Well, at least you have a plan,” Landon said. “I think that’s a marvelous idea. You should be a peace mediator. That’s definitely your calling.”

  “I could totally do it for a living,” Aunt Tillie said, focusing on me. “Thistle snuck in here fifteen minutes ago. She looked worried. What did she do to you?”

  “How do you know she did anything to me?”

  “Because she said you were going to make her eat dirt, and she was trying to think of ways to torture you,” Aunt Tillie answered. “She wanted to know if I had any ideas.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “What did you tell her?” I didn’t know if Aunt Tillie could be a peace mediator professionally – I seriously doubted it – but she could certainly make a living torturing people. She was a master at that.

  “I told her I wasn’t getting involved,” Aunt Tillie said. “I’m much too mature for petty bickering.”

  Landon made a derisive sound in the back of his throat. “Since when?”

  “Since always,” Aunt Tillie replied, not missing a beat. “I’m a peace mediator, after all.”

  “Yes, well, I guess I must’ve missed that entry on your resume.” Landon lifted his nose in the air and inhaled. “Is that bacon I smell?”

  “Don’t worry, glutton,” Aunt Tillie said. “They’re in there cooking up a storm. They’re cooking an entire pig just for you.”

  “Well, my day is starting out well,” Landon said. “Thistle locked me in the bedroom with my favorite person, and now there’s an endless supply of bacon. What could be better?”

  “Thistle locked you in your bedroom?” Aunt Tillie looked intrigued.

  “Yes, she cast a spell on the lock,” I said. “Landon took out the pins in the hinges, though, and then Thistle ran like the coward that she is.”

  “And this is all because you guys can’t agree what to do with Clove’s bedroom?”

  I nodded.

  “Okay, I’ve decided to take your side,” Aunt Tillie said after considering her options for a few moments. “It’s your lucky day, Bay. Your Aunt Tillie is here and she’s going to help you pay back Thistle.”